Unfinished Business
by BEM96
Summary: A look at the characters between the movies Generations and First Contact. I first listed this as a R/T story, but after writing it more- it truly isn't. It is a R/T, P/C and everyone else, especially P/T, you'll just have to read it. Sorry.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters

A/N: I am taking a fluffy break from my heavier story and that is exactly what this is...fluff...with no real point other than hopefully being mildly entertaining. I hope you enjoy it. It lightened my mood a bit. Next chapter next week maybe.

**Unfinished Business:**

**-Between Generations and First Contact-**

Will rolled over in his bed. For some reason, no matter how many nights he slept there, it just wasn't the same. It didn't feel like home. Finally he came to lie flat on his back and found he was almost comfortable. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come quickly. But it never got the chance.

"Torres to Commander Riker. Sir, you are needed on the Bridge."

Will almost groaned. He was always needed on the Bridge. "On my way," he called before rolling out of bed and pulling his uniform back on. He stalked down the corridor thinking of all the good night's rest he had gotten while serving on the Enterprise, how much he had taken for granted that he was surrounded by the best and the brightest.

"Torres to Commander Riker, Sir, we have been locked out of helm control, Sir."

Will stepped into the turbo lift. "Main Bridge," he called before tapping his comm. badge. "Torres, who is at the helm?"

"Ensign Castor, Sir."

"Ensign, what is our relative attitude reading?"

There was a pause before a flustered sounding young woman answered. "-.02564." There was another pause before she added. "Sir."

He was beginning to hate the word 'Sir'.

"And what would happen if a negative attitude control was accepted by the computer?" he tried to make his voice sound more patient than he was feeling as the turbo lift continued to take him to the Bridge.

The young woman sounded utterly defeated. "The ship would go into a roll, Sir."

"That's right," he said as the turbo lift doors opened and he stepped onto the bridge. "So why don't you try adjusting the attitude attitude and try it again, okay?"

Ensign Castor nodded, her eyes wide with fear or embarrassment. _She ought to feel both_, he thought to himself. _Crusher flew better his first time out of the gate, and the Enterprise was three times the size. _Maybe he was just running on a short fuse lately. Maybe _he _needed an attitude adjustment. Maybe he needed one night's worth of sleep without the Gamma shift calling him to the Bridge.

"Helm control is back on line, Sir," the ensign called.

Will Riker turned to the lieutenant who was in command of Gamma shift. "Is that all you needed Torres?"

"Actually, no, Sir. We are also having some trouble with the impulse drives. The diagnostic showed them to be operating within normal parameters but Delta shift reported sluggish responses, especially the port engine…,Sir."

"What percent of engine efficiency are we looking at?" Riker asked.

The young man looked around at his fellow members of Gamma shift, as if he was confused. "Normal parameters," he said with a small shrug.

"Normal?" Will asked feeling more than a little frustrated. "What would normal parameters be on a Darren class impulse engine, Lieutenant?"

"I…" Torres looked around helplessly at his comrades. "I don't know, Sir."

"Well next time, before you wake me up, I'd like you to know that."

"Aye, Sir," Torres said as he scrambled to find the information. "The port engine is functioning at 64% and starboard is at 69%," he said continuing to read from the console by the command chair.

"And 'normal parameters'?" Will asked again.

"64-98%, Sir."

"So the question is…why are our impulse engines operating at 'normal', yet sub-par condition?"

"It could be the phase coils," Torres offered.

"Or the matrix differentials could need recalibrating," the lieutenant at ops offered.

Will looked back to Torres. "Sounds like you have a little project tonight, Lieutenant," he said trying to sound moderately pleasant. "Good night." Will turned and headed back to the turbo lift.

"Actually Sir, there was one more thing…" Torres called.

Will turned around and almost glared at the young man.

"But it can probably wait until the morning," he said densely.

Will nodded slightly, not hiding his irritation well as he stepped back into the lift.

"Commander," a young woman called after him before the doors could close. "Do you have a moment?"

Riker sighed. Lieutenant Lilly Armstrong had the bounce of an exuberant twelve year old, and she didn't look much older. "Counselor," he greeted her. "It's 01:30… why not," he conceded.

She smiled at him, hopping into the lift. Will called for the lift to return him to his quarters on deck thirteen. Then he looked back to the bouncing young woman in front of him.

"Lieutenant, what are you doing on duty?"

"Oh, Gamma shift has been calling you so often lately, I thought if I made myself available that we may be able to find a moment to talk."

"Because if we did that during the day…that would just be boring," he murmured.

"You tend to be so busy during normal hours…" she told him. "Or perhaps you are just avoiding me."

Will did his best to chuckle, trying to show the absurdity of the accusation, but the truth was, running into the ships counselor certainly wasn't a priority for him. He continued to glance around the lift for something to distract him.

"Commander, Sir. With all due respect, it has been noted that you have been a bit… short," she said hesitantly, "lately, perhaps more fatigued. I thought perhaps talking about it may…"

Will shook his head. "I think a good night's sleep might be a better course of treatment," he told her, hoping his voice didn't sound as patronizing as he felt. The lift doors opened and Will Riker stepped out, the Columbia's ships counselor at his heels.

"I appreciate that, Sir. But I am feeling that you seem to be reluctant to the idea…" Will tried to tune out her continued talking as he continued down the corridor. "So I spoke to Counselor Troi…"

That got his attention. Will Riker slowly turned to give Lieutenant Armstrong his full attention. "Who?" he asked her.

"Deanna Troi. She was the ships counselor aboard the Enterprise."

Will tried not to chuckle as he shook his head slightly. "I know who she is, Lieutenant," he corrected. "Why were you talking to her?"

"Well, you seem so reluctant… I thought she might have some words of wisdom if she had been at all successful in helping you open up to her."

Will thought for a moment about some of the _methods_ Deanna had used to make him feel comfortable and he smiled. He couldn't see any of them being applicable here. "And out of sheer curiosity, what did she tell you?"

Lilly Armstrong almost sighed. "Actually, " she said, her face scrunching slightly. "her response was rather cryptic."

Will couldn't help but smile. "Try me, " he told her, suddenly feeling in much lighter spirits.

"She said to be patient with you, and to not allow you, under any circumstances, to play poker with the junior officers."

Will put his head down and stifled his laughter. "Did she?" he asked chuckling.

_Oh, she's gonna get it for that, _he thought.

"What does that mean, Sir?"

"It means Deanna Troi has too much time on her hands," he said, shaking his head lightly as he continued on his way.

"It seemed to me that she might be concerned that you may have some issues, perhaps with gambling…"

Will rolled his eyes and turned back around to face his over eager officer. "All that means is that I am a better poker player than she is and she was having a bit of fun razzing an old friend. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with my pillow. Good night, Lieutenant." Will spun back around and disappeared inside his quarters. He was half laughing, half frustrated as hell.

Fist thing in the morning he'd be sure to send Deanna a little thank you note for her little comments. Though, if he thought about it, this little bit of hazing came off much better than the little joke she and Beverly Crusher had played a few months back.

Deanna had stayed on at Star Fleet Medical with Beverly Crusher for the first month or so after the crash. It must have been a load of fun for the two of them to have each other, while the rest of their friends were scattered across the quadrant. But those two could be trouble as he quickly learned when he was paged to the Andes Sickbay two days out of space dock.

When he arrived, the doctor had informed him that he had received a message from Star Fleet Medical that he was overdue for his annual physical and that it was to be a _complete_ physical. Will had just started back at the starry-eyed kid in front of him. Will was sure he hadn't been that young when he had graduated from the academy.

"How long have you been a doctor?" he asked, not knowing how to ask in a way that seemed any less rude.

"Oh, I passed all my boards," he told him.

Will was not encouraged. "So you just graduated from medical school?"

"Yes, Sir. Last week, and I'm excited to serve."

Will sighed. "Who did you say sent that message?" he asked.

"It was from the office of…" he looked back through the records. "Commander Deanna Troi, psychiatric department, Star Fleet Medical."

Will closed his eyes and shook his head. This was a joke. "You know, Doctor. I think I'm fine for now."

"Sir…it was an order," he pleaded. "Please don't make this difficult."

This reeked of Beverly Crusher, he thought as he submitted to the examination. And it was COMPLETE. He had no idea doctors still stuck their fingers where this kid stuck his. What a day it had been and when he got back to his infinitesimally small quarters on the insignificant ship to which he had been assigned as her ranking officer, he had sent a raging note to Deanna telling her that that had been officially NOT FUNNY!

Her answer had come the next morning and it hadn't been more than 15 words.

_That's what happens to the man who crashes the flagship of the Federation! _

_Xox, Dea_

He knew she was teasing. He could hear the laughter in her words. But he wondered if there wasn't an admiral in some office thinking the same thing.

It had been almost six months. Six months and two ships under his command. Each had crews made up almost entirely of officers who a week before had been cadets. It wasn't that they never had a greenie on the Enterprise, but it was rare, and typically they were the best in their field. These kids were graduating 84th in their class of 100.

_Maybe you are being too hard on them_, Will thought as he flopped back down on his bed in his quarters on the Columbia. They were bigger than what he had had on the Andes, but they were nothing impressive. Who would have thought that he'd envy the days of working with Reg BarkleyHe had been the weak link on the finest ship in the Federation. But these kids made Reg look spit and polished.

_Loosen up, Will. You don't have to take everything so seriously_, he could almost hear Deanna in his head, trying to make him laugh with her. He did need to find a way to unwind. Or maybe just sleep through the night without his inexperienced crew trying to destroy his ship every time he left the Bridge.

Six months… had it really already been that long? The missions he was leading were necessary, but not what he would call exciting. The work was tedious, and he wasn't used to feeling that way about being in space.

Will rolled over and began to search for that illusive comfortable position. Maybe he would try to get in touch with Deanna and they could actually talk, instead of what they had settled for most of the last few months, hurriedly sent notes, short and sweet. She'd make him feel better. If he could only get the crew to leave him alone long enough to make the call.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters

A/N: So I think I was within a day of keeping my promise to put the next chapter in a week. Notice I am not making the same promise this week :) I guess I will go ahead and post at least this. I don't quite know what to make of so many readers...so few reviews. :) (That's a hint, by the way).

**Chapter 2**

Deanna Troi stared out the window as the shuttle passed by the rings of Saturn. They glittered in the light of the Terran sun. The sight was breathtaking. But she was growing excited for a different reason. She would reach Earth in less than an hour.

It had been a long, though always interesting few months. After the demise of the Enterprise D, the senior staff had decided, unanimously, to accompany the captain to Earth.

They all had made their own statements to Star Fleet Command about what had happened in their last hours aboard the ship they had all called home for so long. Then with somber hearts they had traveled together to France and stood behind their captain as he buried his brother and nephew who had been killed in a fire a few weeks before.

Deanna had been worried about Jean-Luc Picard. He seemed consumed with grief, like she had never seen him. The loss of his nephew René had been particularly bitter for him. And when the Enterprise barreled into the planet's surface, destroyed beyond all repair, something in her captain seemed to simply shut down. Deanna had stayed as close to him in the following days as he would allow, but it didn't seem as if she was doing enough.

There had been crowds of people at the funeral service. The Enterprises senior staff sat side by side in the row behind Captain Picard and his sister-in-law, Marie. Deanna noticed the little details, like how he had kept a supportive hand on her the entire service, and how immensely quiet and solemn the woman was. She had never shed a tear. It had been a few weeks since the deaths. It was possible that she was cried out by the day of the funeral, but it seemed to Deanna that Marie had devoted a great deal of her energy to playing host to the people around her, the townspeople, the workers from the vineyard, even the members of Star Fleet who had come to show support to the captain.

After the service, the crowd seemed to flow naturally back to the Picard home. There was food and wine, and people everywhere. Deanna found herself easily slipping into the role of caregiver; making sure people were eating, checking to see if guests had what they needed.

Beverly, on the other hand, was playing hostess to some of the captain's oldest friends and various Star Fleet admirals. It was a task she was well suited for. Beverly had known the captain longer than any of them, and by extension, knew his friends as well. For the most part, the captain had remained aloof. His senior staff had given him his space. They were accustomed to that.

After midday as the crowd began to dwindle slightly, Deanna looked out the window in the kitchen and saw Marie Picard sitting alone on a bench in the small garden, in the heat of the Earth's summer sun. Deanna gathered a glass of water and a small plate of food for her and slipped into the back garden.

"It is lovely here," Deanna offered quietly.

Marie gave her a simple smile. "This was my space. I planted the herbs and flowers. Robert and I used to sit out here in the evenings and enjoy a glass of wine together," she spoke softly.

"_Was_ your space?" Deanna asked. "You don't intend to stay on then?"

Marie had looked away sadly. "This has been my home for almost twenty years," she told her. "But Robert is gone, René is gone."

"Marie," Deanna sat down next to the woman. "Jean-Luc would never want you to leave. You must know that."

Marie nodded as tears filled her eyes for the first time that day. "But there are so many memories," she whispered.

"Good memories?"

Marie nodded emphatically.

"Then why would you let them go?" Deanna asked her.

Marie suddenly began to cry in earnest and Deanna held her, absorbing as much of her grief as she could manage. After a moment, Deanna saw the captain in the doorway to the kitchen. He was watching the two of them. When Deanna caught his eye, he looked away as if he had been caught spying, but he only sighed and gave her a grateful nod. Deanna smiled sadly at him and nodded her acceptance in return before he disappeared back into the house. It was as close as they had come, on that day, to a private conversation.

When the six members of the senior staff left La Barre that night, they began very different journeys. Worf was traveling to the Klingon Home World with Alexander. Geordi and Data were leaving for Star Base 212 where they would begin the decommissioning and salvage operations of what was left of the Enterprise D. Will Riker was to be stationed as the commanding officer of the Andes, a brand new vessel on its maiden voyage. It was small, Will had been quick to point out, but it had all the current upgrades and engine schematics that would be the blueprints for what Starfleet promised would be a ship worthy of the name Enterprise. And Deanna and Beverly had both been persuaded to spend some time at Star Fleet Medical, each in their own departments.

Those first few weeks in San Francisco had been a relaxing time for her. She and Beverly spent a lot of time together when they weren't working or in meetings. But after six weeks, and with much urging from her mother, Deanna had taken a personal leave, bid Beverly goodbye and headed for home.

Lwaxana Troi was simply beside herself that, after such a serious accident, Deanna had not come rushing right home. But the truth, Deanna realized shortly after returning to Betazed, was that she hadn't wanted to come home. She hadn't been ready to hear her mother moan on and on that she could have been killed, how the life she had chosen was wrong. She wasn't ready for her mother's kind of comfort. And within a week of supposed relaxing, in her mother's home, she was climbing the walls with anxiety.

She knew logically that there was nothing that she could have done differently that day to bring about a better outcome. And it could have been a lot worse. Both Will and the captain had assured her in the days following the crash that she had done a fine job, that by the time she reached the helm, the only thing left to do was keep the ship level, to mitigate the damage to the hull on impact, which she had done.

Will's decision to stop trying to pull up and let the ship go down was probably the only thing that kept the ship from flying into a million pieces, killing everyone on board. Still twenty-two people had been killed in the crash with another 127 seriously injured. Of course the other 471 crewmembers remaining in the saucer section had walked away relatively unharmed. But it didn't seem like she or Will were ready to look at it that way, at least not yet.

Their home had been destroyed. Deanna's quarters were a complete loss. She had only been able to gather a handful of personal items from the tangled mess of metal and other debris that had been her living quarters. And sitting in her family's home on Betazed, she realized her mother was going to do everything in her power to keep her daughter planet bound for a while. She tried arranging dates with eligible men; Deanna hadn't taken too kindly to that. It wasn't that some of them weren't perfectly nice, a few were even immensely attractive, but she recognized the ploy for what it was, and Deanna had no intention of her trip home being more than a brief visit.

But the moment Gart Xerx had asked her to meet him on the campus to Betazed's University; she knew her plans had changed. The idea of returning to the university that had meant so much to her, as a member of the teaching staff was incredibly flattering. And when she had approached Admiral Hayden about the opportunity, he practically leapt.

"Yes! Of course!" he had told her. "I am completely supportive!"

"It would only be one term," Deanna told him. "Three months."

"Deanna, if you could find one student half as well trained as yourself and influence them to even think twice about joining Star Fleet, your transfer would be well worth it. We could use a hundred more, just like you."

Deanna had smiled graciously under the admiral's praise via subspace. "Thank you Sir," she had told him, and just that easy the matter had been settled. She had remained on Betazed for the last four months as she taught for one full term, classes in interspecies psychology, the physiological demands of leadership, and interspecies relations.

The position had kept her from traveling, much to her mother's pleasure, but had left her feeling somewhat isolated from her friends. She heard that Will and Beverly had gone out to dinner one night between his returning on the Andes and departing again on the Columbia. She hoped that meant that he had forgiven the two of them for their little prank. Deanna was sure Beverly had been relieved. Deanna knew that, at least eventually, Will would laugh it off. But when they got his note the next day, Beverly had been worried that maybe they had gone too far.

Will had also managed to find the time to visit France briefly to see Captain Picard, and Deanna had been anxious to hear his report.

The captain had replied to each of the letters she had sent, but did not divulge much more than what the weather was like in the south of France or what he was learning about running the vineyard that bore his name, but had never been very much a part of his life. He was more talkative about his sister-in-law, telling Deanna how she was coping, commenting on how her loneliness seemed unbearable at times, and how he was glad that he had remained with her.

Marie had apparently moved out of the main house to a cottage on the grounds, for the time being. Jean-Luc had apparently urged her to stay in the home, but she found the constant flood of memories too much for her at times. It didn't seem too much of a stretch to assume that she would return to the main house in time, but for now, the cottage seemed to make her more comfortable.

But as for the captain's well being, Deanna knew very little. Will had contacted her the night after his return from France through the subspace communications system and the two of them had talked for hours. He said the captain had seemed pleasant, if a bit withdrawn. Lonely was the word Will used. "Then again, I'm not sure I'm much better," he had told her with a sadness that she wasn't used to seeing in his eye. Was it possible that they were all homesick for a ship that lay in shambles in a space dock light years away?

She hadn't had much time to write or talk to much of anyone. Will tried to write as often as he could, but mostly they exchanged hurried notes. The captain only responded to letters, never sent one of his own, and Beverly would send lengthy dissertations on her day and frustrations with the redundancies of Star Fleet Medical Headquarters. As entertaining as Deanna found them, she had little time to form an appropriately long response; instead sending notes of sympathy and offers to run away if Beverly could escape. She never could, and truthfully Deanna wasn't sure she could have run away very easily herself.

There were only two friends that had made their way to Betazed. The first had been the last person she had expected. But eight weeks into the term, Deanna was returning home and found a very stoic looking Klingon on her doorstep.

"Worf!" she had cried and thrown her arms around him.

His return of the gesture was tentative at best.

"What are you doing here? And why are you just standing on the stoop?"

Worf looked almost sheepish. "I did not wish to have to wait… alone… with your mother."

Deanna only smiled. "Mother is away, staying with some friends of hers at the home on the southern coast. I think we were starting to wear each other a bit thin. I was afraid if I spent one more evening with my childhood friends, she was going to accuse me of running away from home."

"Were you?" he asked simply.

Deanna sighed lightly. "I guess that is a matter of perspective. Come in," Deanna had pulled him inside. "Tell me what you have been up to?" She tugged slightly on his Star Fleet uniform. "How is Alexander?"

Worf looked around the room awkwardly. "He is on the Klignon Home World," he finally told her.

"Alone?"

"I have enrolled him in a school there. He will be watched over by my brother's family."

Deanna had gasped. "Worf, are you serious? Alone?"

"I believe it is better this way," he said with fixed determination.

Deanna almost launched into a list of reasons that she thought leaving Alexander in the care of Worf's brother was a simply horrible idea, but something made her stop. She had lost her right to tell Worf her opinion on how to parent his son, given it up, actually, months before when they had ended their relationship.

"Where I am going is very far from other…"

"Where you are going…?" Deanna interrupted, repeating him. "Where are you going, exactly?"

"I have accepted a transfer to Deep Space Nine," he told her, his eyes on the floor.

Deanna stood from her seat angrily. "Deep Space Nine?" she cried. "Deep space Four or Five was what… too close?"

"Counselor," he tired to calm her.

"Worf, why would you leave? They have said it would be less than a year for the new ship…"

"Deanna," his voice was low and determined.

Deanna tried to stifle her tirade and locked eyes with him.

"I have to do this. I need… I need to do this."

"Worf… if… We could be fine," she told him, feeling the tears sting her eyes.

Worf sighed while he struggled to find the words. "I want that very much. That is part of why I made the decision I did," he said quietly. "I don't want this to stand in the way of our futures," he said gesturing between the two of them. He waited for her to respond, but she just stood silently, tears pooling in her eyes. "I wanted to tell you myself. I thought… I thought I owed you that much."

Deanna turned away from him. She hadn't wanted him to see her cry. "And Alexander?"

"I would hope that you… and your mother… would stay in contact with him."

"And us?" Deanna asked turning back to him.

"Deanna, I value our friendship, just as I value my friendship with Commander Riker. I do not want to do anything to jeopardize that."

"And you think that leaving…"

"Will allow us all to move forward… in our own way."

Deanna stood patiently, nodding slightly. She understood what he was saying. The stress of the three of their relationships had taken its toll over the last few months. They had all tried, but there were emotions there that were too hard to ignore. Something was changing between her and Will, at least it had been before the Enterprise's destruction had scattered their odd little family across the quadrant, and it was making things between the three of them tense. It was as if any combination two of them were fine and they could work past it, but when the three of them were together, the tension was palpable.

They had talked a while longer, but at the end of the day she had let him go, not knowing when or if she would see him again. But they parted with a warm embrace and that would have to be enough for her, knowing that they valued the other as a friend. But it was strange to think of a future on a new ship, even if it bore the same name, knowing there would be at least one hole on the bridge.

***

_Maybe more than one, _she realized as earth came into view from her window on the shuttle. Deanna placed her mug of hot chocolate down on the table next to her and sighed. Earth was not home, and sometimes Betazed didn't feel like it either. _I'm homeless,_ she realized as the shuttle slipped into a high orbit.

"Counselor," an attendant spoke to her as he leaned in and picked up the mug she had just released. He nodded at the window Deanna had been staring out of blankly for the last hour or so. "It's quite a view, isn't it?"

Deanna smiled warmly at him, having been yanked from her reminiscences of the last few months. "It is," she agreed.

"We will be landing at Star Fleet Headquarters in just a few minutes," he told her before leaving her alone again with the view and her memories.

****

It had been about two weeks after Worf had dropped in on her unannounced and left again, leaving her feeling somehow blue after he had departed. She was teaching a large class in a lecture hall on the university campus. It was a classroom she had sat in many times as a student herself, and the room filled her with memories.

This particular group of students were very attune and intelligent. Deanna was nearing the end of her lecture about her experiences with patriarchal humanoid societies when she heard the door to the classroom open and then someone take a seat in the back. It was too dark for her to see the person's face, but she did not appreciate being interrupted.

"Can I help you?" she called to the back of the room.

Several students turned to see who she was speaking to.

"I was just wondering if you would define human males as obtuse as other males of rigidly patriarchal societies. Or have we earned an exemption?"

Deanna didn't have to see his face; she knew his voice all too well. She put her hand on her hip and tried to hide her smile. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to Commander Geordi Laforge, the finest engineer in Star Fleet."

Now Geordi had her classes' full attention and he blushed slightly as he stepped more into the light.

He looked good, though maybe in need of a bit of a vacation. She couldn't believe her eyes. "Geordi Laforge," she said shaking her head at him in disbelief. "Look what the cat dragged in."

"No cats, just a starship or two," he told her jovially.

"I think you just effectively ended my lecture."

"Men, how much could there be to learn?" he asked with a shrug. "They look wise enough for the day, don't you think?" he said gesturing towards the room of students around them watching their banter closely.

"They're crying on the inside", she told him.

Geordi only nodded with mock seriousness.

"I think that's all for today," Deanna gave in, ending her lecture early. She had completely lost her rhythm anyway. "Your papers are due at the end of next week. Please do me the honor of beginning them sometime other than the night before," she called as the class began to gather their belongings and head to the doors.

Geordi made his way down the stairs to the stage where Deanna stood. The room was quiet except for the sound of moving chairs and footsteps. "Are they always so talkative?" he asked puzzled.

Deanna glanced over her shoulder at her class. "They're talking," she told him.

"Right," Geordi realized his mistake too late. "Just not in a way a mere human can understand."

Deanna swatted him in the shoulder before they wrapped their arms around each other and embraced. "I've missed you," she told him.

"Yeah, well, right back at ya'. I've been having a hell of a time trying to be you in your place."

"Data?" Deanna asked concerned.

Geordi nodded. "He's reinstalled the emotion chip, but this time he's taking it slow, a little bit at a time. It's gone pretty well, for the most part, but sometimes the intensity of it… It can be too much for him."

Deanna reached out for Geordi instinctively to offer some sort of support. "I wish I was there with him."

Geordi huffed slightly. "Me too," he said, with a wiggle of his eyebrow.

Deanna glanced over to the last few straggling students gathered by the door and gave them a stern look.

"What?" Geordi asked.

Deanna only shook her head. She leaned in toward Geordi. "They're trying to figure out if we're a couple," she told him.

Geordi glanced back at the students and with a shrug, threw his arm around Deanna as they walked from the room. "What the hell," he suggested as they walked together.

Deanna chuckled slightly as they walked from the auditorium and she led them to a fountain. "Just what I need," she muttered as they walked.

"Rumors?" he asked.

But Deanna only sighed. "No… I think I've done enough damage in that department, thank you."

Geordi took a seat on a bench in the shade of a tree next to his friend and looked at her with sadness and understanding. "So, you heard about Worf then."

Deanna nodded.

"When did he tell you?"

"He was here a few weeks ago," she told him sadly. "He said he wanted to tell me in person. How did you hear?"

"He had a stop over on Starbase 212 on his way to DS9. I don't think it's your fault, you know. And if it makes it any easier… he seemed happy… I mean for Worf."

Deanna sighed while a soft smile played on her face. "I hope so," she told him. "But it won't be the same."

"No. No, it won't be. He will be missed. But a lot of things won't be the same. The whole ship will be different," Geordi concluded. Deanna could feel his mix of sadness and excitement. "I doubt he'll be the only one," he said quietly.

Deanna looked at him sharply. "Have you got another offer?" she asked.

"Me? No. In fact, tomorrow I'm heading to Utopia Planitia to help assemble the new engines. No, no other plans. This lady's gonna be all mine."

Deanna tried not to laugh at his exuberance for warp engines. "You must be thrilled to get to work on them yourself."

Geordi only smiled. He looked just like a little boy on his birthday about to open his presents.

"Does that mean that your work on the old Enterprise is over?"

Geordi sighed. "The Enterprise D is officially scrap metal. The salvage operations ended four days ago." His smile was gone as he spoke.

Deanna moved her hand to cover his on the bench. "It's like saying goodbye to an old friend," she told him.

"Yeah."

She was surprised to realize how sad they both were at the thought of their home being scrap.

"Onward, I guess. The E is going to be a phenomenal ship," Geordi told her, with optimism again in his voice.

Deanna thought about what Geordi had said about Worf not being the only one to not return to the Enterprise. "Geordi," she asked him. "What's Data doing now?"

"Oh, he's on Starbase 114, working with Dr. Lenar, cybernetics research. As long as they don't disassemble him, I think he'll be okay." Geordi seemed to realize what she was asking by the look on her face. "Hey, he'll be back. You can count him in."

Deanna's thoughts turned to the three remaining members of the senior staff. Beverly Crusher was at Star Fleet Medical and for all her whining about procedures; Deanna could tell that she was enjoying her work. Will was on the Columbia, and the captain…

Deanna huffed slightly. "Well, it may just be the four of us," she said sadly.

Geordi looked back at her puzzled. "Which four are you counting?" he asked.

The area around the fountain was beginning to crowd with other people as classes around campus let out all around them. The two stood together and began to stroll along the manicured paths of the university campus.

"You, Data, me…"

"And?" Geordi asked.

"And the captain, I suppose."

"So Commander Riker is leaving then?" Geordi asked sadly.

Deanna only shrugged.

"Hey, I figured if anyone would know… It'd be you."

"He hasn't said that he was," Deanna confided in her friend. "But I don't know. For six months he's had command of his own ships. I don't know how well he'd take second place now that he's had a taste of it."

"But I notice they haven't promoted him to captain," Geordi pointed out. "They seem to be leaving the door open for him to come back if he wants to."

"True enough," Deanna admitted. She had tried not to think about what the future held too much over the past few weeks. It only made her sad. She missed Will Riker, in more ways than one, and yet she knew… if Will Riker took command of his own ship, their romantic relationship… whatever it was, was over. Will would go his way, she would go hers, and they would settle for hurried notes for a while, until it became birthday and holiday wishes. Deanna felt her stomach sink.

"You know… there is another alternative," Geordi said tentatively.

Deanna arched an eyebrow skeptically.

"We might get Commander Riker back, but… it still might be four."

Deanna counted again. "The captain?" she asked.

"I've just heard things." Geordi shrugged. "It just seems like he's been spending time doing anything… everything but… I don't know. Let's just say that he hasn't been a frequent visitor to San Francisco."

"That's what Beverly has said," Deanna admitted, her face scrunched in a scowl. "I know he's having a hard time. But I can't imagine him ever leaving Star Fleet."

"No. Maybe not. But there are lots of things that he could do with Star Fleet that don't involve the Enterprise. And if he decided to not come back… maybe…"

"They'd give it to Will?" Deanna asked still skeptical. "A first time captain for the flagship?"

"He's been in the second seat for a long time," Geordi said shaking his head. "I think he's earned it."

Deanna hadn't really thought about anyone being in command of the Enterprise E, but Captain Picard, but the idea of Will getting a chance at his dream made her heart jump again. How would that alter their relationship… he would be her captain…

"And then there's the doctor."

Deanna pulled her mind from her own more selfish thoughts, and nodded. "You know they have her heading a committee on medical research," she told him.

"Yeah, I did. I also heard some talk of that 'committee' becoming a department."

Deanna only sighed. Beverly Crusher's first love was research. That might be too much of a temptation for her to resist. "Research…" Deanna mumbled.

"I know." Geordi seemed to share her concern. "She seems pretty excited about it. She sent me this huge paper about a doctor she has been working with, some guy, not with Star Fleet, I don't know, somewhere on Earth. He's apparently doing amazing things with prosthetics and genetic cell regeneration. She wanted me to read it."

Deanna watched as Geordi tapped at his visor. She tried to stifle her gasp. "Oh, wow, Geordi, are you considering it?"

Geordi only chuckled slightly. "I don't know."

"It could let you do so much," she told him, as if channeling her friend Beverly's response.

"I think I can already do a lot," he said smugly. "I could see your heart rate go up the first time I said Will Riker's name."

Deanna looked back a bit surprised, then smacked him on the arm lightly as he started to laugh. "You're simply awful."

"Oh, come on." He tried to get her to look at him as she huffed along next to him. "No, seriously. I don't know. I guess my attitude has always been, if it ain't broke don't fix it, you know?"

Deanna nodded. "I can respect that," she told him honestly. "But it's at least worth looking into, a bit. Don't you think?"

Geordi began to laugh again. "That's exactly what Beverly said."

The two continued to stroll as the wandered further and further from the university. "So, how long did you say you'd be here?" Deanna asked.

"I leave tomorrow afternoon on the Chekhov."

Deanna squeezed tighter to Geordi's arm. "Almost a whole day!" she told him excitedly. "Where are you staying?"

"Oh, I don't know. I thought I could probably take lodging at the embassy."

"No! I won't hear of it. Stay with me."

Geordi shifted a little awkwardly. "Are you sure? I think we already started a rumor over at the university. How would it look, me coming home with you?"

Deanna shook her head at her friend. "Geordi, I am currently living in a home with nineteen bedrooms and only two women. I think we could probably find you a wing you would find appropriate."

"Shouldn't you ask your mother first?" Geordi asked, but Deanna's face immediately turned to a scowl at the suggestion. Geordi raised his hands to surrender. "Okay, sorry."

****

Deanna was yanked from her memories again as the shuttle touched down. It wasn't particularly rough, but it was enough to draw her attention to the here and now. She shook her head a bit as she gathered some of her possessions that lay around her. She was due for her meeting with Admiral Hayden in only a few minutes and the Medical and Psychiatric buildings were on the opposite side of campus from the shuttle station.

The walk was invigorating to say the least. There was a cold breeze sweeping off the San Francisco bay, and the sky overhead was gray. By the time she walked into the admiral's office, her hair was a mess, and her hands were cold as ice.

"You are early, my dear. My goodness," the admiral said taking hold of the hand he was shaking. "Didn't you bring a coat?"

Deanna smiled a bit sheepishly. "I did, but I left my bags behind at the cargo hold." She had grown used to the mild weather of her home planet.

He only shook his head and offered her a seat. The two of them began to chat about her teaching experiences over the last few months.

"Always interesting, ehy?" he asked her.

"Always… something."

"So the real question is, would you ever do it again?"

Deanna could see by the look on his face that it was not a theoretical question. "Here?" she asked.

But the admiral shook his head. "Not that we wouldn't love to have you, but the university on Batazed has requested that you join them for a final term before heading back out to space. I told them that we were happy to have you out on loan, at least once you finished up the work I wanted you here for, but ultimately, that it would need to be your decision."

Deanna sighed. Three more months of her mother, three more months without seeing her family from the Enterprise. But she had enjoyed her classes and the camaraderie with other psychologists.

"One more term?", she asked. The admiral confirmed with a nod. And slowly Deanna nodded in return. What else was she planning on doing with herself?

"Well then Earth will be graced with your presence for another six weeks," the admiral said with a smile. "The committee that I wanted you to join for the qualification process for outgoing psychologists has had a slight change of plans. Admiral Thurburg has been called away. So we will not be meeting for another three weeks. Consider yourself on liberty." Then he raised his eyebrows. "What will you do with yourself?"

Deanna sat back in her chair, slightly stunned. Three weeks? She truthfully had no idea.

***

Deanna hurried through the long corridors connecting the psychological and medical buildings. She suddenly found herself with three weeks on her hands, unexpectedly.

The possibilities were flying through her mind faster than she could formulate them. She had had fleeting ideas over the years of things on Earth that she would like to see or visit, but none had ever formed into a real plan for a vacation, certainly not a three-week long vacation. She didn't know what to do, except to find Beverly Crusher. Maybe they could finally run off for a bit the way they had been talking about for… Deanna tried to think back… for a very long time, she thought as she took a lift up to Beverly's office.

Deanna hadn't told her she was coming, thinking it would be a bit of fun to surprise her, but as the lift doors opened onto the floor where Beverly's office was, she found many people moving about, but Beverly was nowhere to be seen.

Deanna stepped out into the whirlwind of activity. "Excuse me," she called to a passing ensign. The young woman stopped and turned back to her. "I'm looking for Dr. Crusher."

"She's not here," the woman told her simply and turned as if to walk on.

"Do you know where she might be?" Deanna called after her.

"Counselor," Deanna heard a familiar voice call.

Deanna turned around to find Alyssa Ogowa walking towards her. "Alyssa," she said with a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well," she told her. "Busy," she said gesturing to the medical equipment she was carrying in her arms. "You're looking for Dr. Crusher?"

Deanna nodded.

"Did she know you were coming? How long have you been back?"

"I just got in, and no. I didn't tell anyone I was coming really. Is Beverly alright?"

"Oh, yes. I'm sure she's fine. But she's not here. She has been spending a lot of time on Australia's sub continent with Dr. Monroe. He's doing wonderful research with prosthetics and…"

"Genetic regeneration?" Deanna asked remembering her conversation with Geordi LaForge.

"Yes! You know his work?"

Deanna shook her head. "Only what Beverly has passed along. Do you know how long until she gets back?"

Alyssa shrugged her shoulders. "She's been spending longer and longer down there. I couldn't say. She and Gordon seem to make quite the pair."

"Gordon?" Deanna asked before she could help it. Was there something that Beverly had been leaving out of her letters?

"Dr. Monroe," Alyssa corrected herself. "Professionally speaking, of course."

"Of course," Deanna agreed skeptically. Then she sighed, her only real plan fading away in front of her. "Is there any way to get her a message?"

"Certainly," Alyssa agreed happily. "Where should I tell her to send her response?"

Deanna sighed again as her thoughts of where to go continued to swirl. Finally she conceded. "You know, I don't know. But when I do, I'll let you know. "

"Excellent," Alyssa agreed. The two exchanged farewells and Deanna found herself with a little less bounce in her step as she made her way back out into the wind blowing off of San Francisco's bay. Much to her delight, the sun had emerged and golden beams were scattering across the water.

Think, think, she told herself as different options floated through her head. She was walking back in the general direction of the shuttle station and the cargo bay where she had left her bags, but she was certainly taking her time, meandering through paths and taking in the view. She could always stay here, in San Francisco, she thought.

Then, almost out of the corner of her eye, she saw him. He was walking with far more purpose than she had been, his head slightly down, as if avoiding eye contact could keep him from having to speak to those he passed. But his mind seemed to be far away, lost in his own thoughts. He passed within a meter of her, and continued on, without so much as a glance. Deanna was so shocked by his lack of attention, that for a moment, she almost let him go. Something about him… seemed lost.

"Captain!" she finally called after him, but it did not halt his path. "Jean-Luc Picard!" she used her most authoritative voice.

She watched as the captain's head snapped up as if he had been yanked from a dream. He looked around confused, as if he could not tell where the voice had come from amongst the other three or four people who passed them along the path. Then, as his eyes finally focused on the woman in front of him, Deanna saw the beginnings of a smile, as recognition and happiness washed over him.

"Deanna," he said quietly, as if not quite believing what he was seeing.

"Captain!" Deanna cried in return and without much thought, other than how terribly she had missed him, she bridged the gap between them and hugged him. She was surprised he did not immediately shy away, and then even more surprised that he not only returned the gesture, but at how tightly he clung to her. Like a drowning man, she thought as they embraced.

Slowly, they let go of one another and Jean-Luc Picard kissed her on both cheeks quickly. For just a moment, Deanna swore she saw a glint of a tear in his eye.

"I have missed you," she told him softly.

The captain nodded, as he seemed to be struggling to control his own emotions. "As have I. You have no idea," he shook his head slightly. Then his brow furrowed a bit. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be teaching at the University on Batazed?"

Deanna smiled. "Aren't you supposed to be running a vineyard in France?"

The captain gave her a look she couldn't quite describe, but the meaning was clear. He had found the humor in her cheeky remark. She was used to him giving that look to his first officer.

The captain gestured to the path where Deanna had been walking and the two of them set off together.

"Admiral Hayden asked me to come back to Star Fleet Headquarters between terms to join a committee working on the guidelines for Star Fleet counselors before they are sent out in the field. So I got on a transport ship as soon as my final papers were in, and got here a few hours ago." She looked at her captain, as if to say "your turn".

"Admiral DeYek wanted to give me an update on the progress of the Enterprise E."

Deanna looked back at him, waiting for something more. She knew it was there, could sense it from him. When he seemed to not want to continue, she arched her eyebrow sharply.

Jean-Luc Picard sighed heavily. He had forgotten how easily she could see through him. "They may have been hoping that I would volunteer for the assignment to the Gormara cluster. Negotiations for the rights to the wormhole there seem to have come to a stand still. I think they were hoping for some fresh eyes."

"And," she encouraged him to continue.

He only shook his head. "No," he told her. "It would be at least three months. Marie is not ready…" he watched Deanna's eyebrow arch a bit further. "I am not ready. If it were the Enterprise… but it is not, and I don't think I am in the right frame of mind to negotiate with the Ferengi and Cardassians."

The captain's frame of mind was what had been concerning her for several months now. She clung slightly tighter to him as if to offer some sort of support as he led her to a small bench slightly off the path that they had followed.

"So how long will you be here before you head back to the university?" he asked her as they sat, trying to move the conversation to a more casual topic.

"Well, the new term starts in six weeks. The committee was to meet for two weeks, but it has been delayed. So apparently I have the next three weeks liberty before the committee meets. Then I will only have a week to get back to Betazed and get settled before I have one more three month term."

"And do you like teaching?"

Deanna smiled. "I do," she told him. "Most of the time at least. I'm not sure I would commit to doing it forever, but it has been an excellent outlet for me. It has allowed me the time to brush up on my skills, to focus. It has really been an honor."

The captain looked back at her sadly. "So you would consider staying on?" he asked.

Suddenly it became clear to her that the captain was as upset about the changes to his crew as she was, and she smiled slightly as she slipped her arm around his. "Captain, whenever the Enterprise E leaves orbit, I intend to be aboard. Assuming, of course that her captain requests my presence."

The smile that crossed his face was undeniable. Deanna could sense his relief. "Well, any captain of the flagship would be foolish not to ask for you," he told her. "Three weeks of liberty. What ever will you do with yourself?"

Deanna laughed out loud. He had been a distraction, but the question still remained.

"Well, I suppose I was hoping to run off for a bit with Beverly, but she isn't here."

"No. She is rarely here," he said shortly.

Deanna noticed the hard line that had formed suddenly in his jaw, and the surge of yet, unidentified emotion from him. "Apparently she has been working with a researcher on Australia's subcontinent."

"Gordon Monroe." Jean-Luc spat out his name as if it was poison.

Just as quickly, Deanna identified the emotions that were pouring off the man next to her. Jealousy. The sentiment didn't completely surprise her, but the intensity of the emotion was a bit unsettling. "Apparently, she's working with him on some research," Deanna ventured. "Alyssa was going to send her a message for me, but…"

"I think you will find, Counselor, that when our dear doctor is… engrossed… with Dr. Monroe's… work, she makes little time for anything else." If he had been trying to hide his bitterness, he had failed miserably.

Deanna wondered if it wouldn't be best to simply switch the topic of their conversation. "Well, if I'm going to be alone, I thought maybe I would contact Will and see if I could stay at his home in Alaska for a while. A little retreat of sorts."

Deanna watched as the captain's face fell. "You do realize that it is January, right?"

Deanna looked back, shaking her head slightly, looking puzzled.

"Deanna, in January in Alaska… You will have snow to your elbows."

Deanna's face turned to horror and the captain allowed himself a small chuckle. It had never been a secret that his counselor from her tropical home world had never been fond of the cold.

"Perhaps not," she said quietly. "Perhaps I should be thinking of sights in the southern hemisphere."

"Indeed," the captain replied. "Do you have any in mind?"

Deanna shrugged. "A few I suppose. On the other hand, every time I have been to Earth for the last several years, I have had this nagging instinct to get in touch with some of my father's family. Do you know that my grandmother is still alive? She lives with my father's sister in Greece. Perhaps now is as good a time as I will ever get."

The captain sat and studied her for a long moment, before he stood, tugging his uniform tunic down and offered her his hand to help her rise from the bench. "Well, I am afraid the south of France is not in the southern hemisphere, but the weather is mild and temperate. And it certainly is closer to Greece than Alaska, or even San Francisco for that matter," he told her gesturing at their surrounding. "If you are interested."

Deanna's head cocked to the side in surprise. Maybe she had misunderstood. "What is it that you are suggesting, Captain?"

"I am simply offering, if you would like. You are always welcome to… join me in La Barre."

Deanna didn't know what to say. The captain was always such a private man. The thought had never crossed her mind. "I wouldn't want to intrude, Sir."

"Nonsense," he said firmly. "Marie has moved to a cottage on the edge of the vineyard. That leaves me alone, bumbling around in a house clearly too large for one man. After life on a starship, honestly, it is a little unnerving. Besides, I could do with a distraction, a beautiful one at that. And I know Marie would be happy for the company. You could take your days and visit your family, see sights. We could take a day and go to Paris… whatever you like."

Deanna couldn't seem to quite wrap her head around the offer, but what she could see was the distinct pleasure the idea was bringing her captain. She couldn't resist. "Are you certain, Sir?"

"You can stay as long as you like," he told her.

"You did hear me say three weeks of liberty, didn't you?" she asked skeptically.

"Counselor, I assure you, I have been hanging on your every word."

Deanna smiled, almost blushing with the attention he was giving her. "In that case, Sir, I'd be honored."

The captain nodded his head approvingly as he smiled. "Excellent. Do you have any other matters needing your attention here?" he asked.

Deanna looked around at the city in front of her. "No, I suppose not. I just need to get my bags from the cargo bay."

Jean Luc put his arm around her lightly. "I will have them send them directly."

"Were you just heading back then, before I interrupted your march?" she asked.

The captain stopped, puzzled. "Actually, I was hungry. I was going to get something to eat. Would you care to join me?"

"Captain, I am simply famished," she replied.

The captain made a gallant gesture with his hand. "Right this way," he told her and the two of them set off together.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any of its original characters

**Chapter 3**

Deanna stretched as she rolled over in bed. The light of the sun was just beginning to stream thought the window. "Mhhhh," she moaned and threw the comforter back over her head. There was no need for her to get up. She was on vacation. And the bed was still calling to her. She had almost squealed like a child when she had climbed in the night before. The mattress was soft and luxurious and the large feather duvet that had been folded at the foot of the bed had enveloped her and made it feel as if she were drifting to sleep on a peaceful, fluffy cloud.

Just as she thought she might drift off again, a bird began to chirp just outside her windowsill and, as much as she wanted to throw a pillow in its general direction, she pulled herself up and out of her dreamy wonderland.

The room the captain had selected for her was not particularly large, or plush, but Deanna loved the feeling of it. It seemed somehow that it was exactly what a French chaetae's room should be. The furniture was all antique, from the four-poster mahogany bed, to the wood floorboards under her feel. It almost seemed like a dream.

Deanna noticed that the captain had put her almost as far from his own room as physically possible, and wondered what his motivation was for his decision. Was he simply trying to make her comfortable? Or perhaps he was trying to discourage the image of impropriety. Maybe he was just the way he always was and enjoyed having his personal space. He had seemed so off the day before, practically shaken. She almost hoped the reason was the latter.

She stood in her window watching the bird on the branch of the tree nearby. She still thought about throwing a pillow at it as punishment for waking her so early, but the song it sang soothed her. Her eyes slowly drifted across the scene in front of her. The vineyard was off to her left and through the rolling hills, she could see the stream that the captain had told her ran through the property. She turned her gaze to the house's wing far opposite her own and looked for the window that would have been her captains. There was no light on in any of the other rooms that she could see. She wondered if he was still sleeping.

Deanna slipped through the room without a sound, and made her way down the staircase into the kitchen. She had to admit, she was almost hoping the smells of something wonderful to eat would be wafting up the stairs, but there were no smells, no sounds. The kitchen was deserted, and as she peered into the dining room and living rooms, she realized she was alone.

"Hmm," Deanna sighed as she wondered back into the kitchen. There was no replicator in the house, so she took matters into her own hands. Her eyes drifted out the kitchen window as she filled the teakettle with water in the sink. She looked out into the garden where she had sat with Marie Picard so many months ago. Then she saw him out of the corner of her eye. Captain Picard was standing just on the other side of a rolling hill not far from the house, his back to her as he appeared to be engrossed in an object she could not see from where she stood in the kitchen.

Something about the way he stood, his posture, his isolation, it drew her to him, and she forgot what she had been doing and walked out into the garden. She passed the small gate that lead out to the vineyard and felt a cool breeze sweep over her. The light from the sun was creeping higher in the sky by the minute, the low lying clouds turning beautiful shades of pink and yellow.

It was so peaceful, she realized as she approached the vista where the captain stood. Perhaps it was better if she did not intrude. Her step slowed as she came nearer to him. He acknowledged her approach with only a slight turn of his head in her direction. Deanna understood it to be permission for her to join him. She observed his posture, so different than the man who she had stood by for so many years. His shoulders were more slumped, his hands hung limply at his sides.

Deanna stepped up to his side and quietly slipped her hand into his, squeezing it lightly. A small smile crossed his face. Then Deanna looked away from her captain and out to what had so captured his attention. In the valley before them lay a charred spot of land. Some of the plants around it were beginning to return to life, but the fire scorched pattern of what had once been a building remained.

"The barn stood there," he finally spoke and answered her unasked question. He only lifted his chin slightly to indicate the spot.

Deanna let the scene flow over her before she spoke in return. "Will it be rebuilt?"

"No." He shook his head in a short motion.

Deanna wrapped her other hand around his arm, in a gesture of comfort. "Captain," Deanna said with a sigh. "Please tell me that this is not how you start every day."

Jean-Luc shook his head slightly as he slipped from her grasp and stepped away from her. "Deanna," he murmured. "You will find that a time will come in your life when you feel the sting of losses more intensely than you once did."

"And you have had more than your share of loss in the last year," Deanna added, but the captain turned away. "Your brother, his son…your ship-"

"Is a hunk of titanium and transparent aluminum. Certainly nothing to be mourned," he told her sharply.

Deanna was surprised by the anger in his words. "Our family," she added quietly.

"I am a trained Star Fleet officer. The moving and changing of assignments is part of the life we have chosen. Let us not make it something it is not, Counselor."

There was bitterness in his words and for the first time, Deanna got a glimpse that there was more than just sadness within him. He felt anger, at himself, for feeling that way. "Captain, there is nothing wrong with missing your friends and comrades," she told him softly.

The captain turned away from her, clearly troubled as he ran his hand along his scalp. He shook his head slightly before turning back to her. "Forgive me, Deanna. I'm afraid I have become a cranky old dotard. I have apparently lost the gift of polite conversation." He reached out and wrapped her hand around his arm again, as she had done a moment before. "Perhaps you could assist me with that during your stay," he suggested as he began to lead her back to the house, away from the tragedy that had scarred his family.

"You are not that old," she muttered.

"Oh, you are too kind," he replied.

"Not at all."

"There are things in life that make you realize your age," he assured her.

"Such as?"

"Such as when you stop catching the eye of attractive, eligible women around you."

Deanna simply shook her head and tucked herself closer to his arm as they meandered back to the house. "I doubt very much that that's the case."

….

Deanna and the captain enjoyed a leisurely morning, strolling into town to eat breakfast at a small bakery before they returned to the house. A man from the winery was waiting for the captain's attention even before they could make their way to the door, so Deanna walked back inside alone.

As she wandered through the house, she glanced at the computer that sat on the table in the study and she thought about what the captain had said that morning about feeling old as they walked in the vineyard. She wondered what he had meant by not catching the attention of attractive women. She knew better than to think that he was referring to her. The captain simply didn't look at her that way. She had always known that.

She wondered if the comment had far more to do with a certain red haired doctor they both knew. She had tried repeatedly to pry some more information from him about Beverly Crusher, but he had ended the conversation each time.

The night before as they had strolled to the home for the first time, Deanna had given it a valiant effort. She had hoped that the two of them would have taken this time, planetside, to explore their relationship. But it seemed the opposite was true. They were in closer proximity to one another than anyone else on the crew, but seemed to have made little to no effort to see one another. Clearly, there was something Deanna was missing. Perhaps it was because of the doctor on Australia's sub continent that had captured so much of Beverly's attention. Whatever it was, it left Deanna feeling sad and a bit discouraged for them.

Deanna stared at the computer terminal for a moment longer before glancing back at the door, making sure that she was alone in the house. The last thing she wanted was to force the two of them together against their will.

Realizing she was alone, she slipped into the chair in front of the computer and typed in the communication code that Alyssa Ogowa had given her. After a few moments, the picture came to life and Beverly Crusher sat watching her, slightly confused.

"Deanna!" she cried. "What are you doing on Earth!"

"Vacationing, apparently." Deanna smiled at her friend. "So, when can we run away?"

Beverly's face fell. "Oh, Deanna. I'd love to, but I am right in the middle of this project. How long are you here for? If it can wait for about a week…"

"Beverly, don't worry. I'm here for five weeks, and I only have to be in San Francisco for the last two. Finish your project, then you can tell me all about it as we lay on a warm beach somewhere."

"Oh," Beverly groaned with pleasure at the idea. "Have you ever been to New Zealand? It's like paradise! Plus if you came down this way, I could show you some of the research I have been working on with Dr. Monroe. It's amazing, really. He is…amazing."

Deanna arched an eyebrow, seeing her opportunity to get some much needed information. "Gordon, you mean?"

But Beverly's face changed from a contented grin to a scowl in a moment. "I see you've spoken to the captain," she said curtly, all hint of friendly amusement gone.

Deanna was stunned. "I just…" but she thought she would try a different approach. "Alyssa and Geordi actually," she lied, or at least fudged the truth a little bit.

Beverly looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry," Beverly offered. "But you will find my medical staff have very vivid imaginations. I don't really have an excuse for Geordi."

"So…Dr. Monroe?" Deanna asked cautiously, hoping for some more information on the mysterious man.

"Dr. Monroe is a Australian biomedical researcher. He's kind and articulate, and the way his mind works around the musculoskeletal relationship…it's like nothing I've ever seen. His work is brilliant and it has been a thrill to work with him these last few months. But that is it. We work together." Beverly finished firmly.

"And the captain?" Deanna asked even more cautiously.

"If Jean-Luc Picard can't understand the difference between professional passion and personal attachment, that is not my problem. Nor is it any of his business!" Beverly said, just shy of yelling. "And he can keep his opinions about it to himself. It's not as if he took one step out of his way…" Beverly paused her tirade long enough to look off screen at someone who had entered the room. She smiled a fake smile at them and nodded, before turning back to Deanna. "Sorry. What was I saying?"

Deana sighed at her friend's anger. "I believe you were telling me that you and the captain had a fight of some sort."

Beverly's anger immediately returned, and she shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. Let's go back to talking about New Zealand instead." Beverly took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. "One week from today," she said to Deanna.

Deanna smiled and nodded. "I'll be ready," she told her. "But are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"The captain?" Beverly asked and when Deanna nodded, she snapped back. "No." The two women sat for a moment is silence. Beverly studied her friend for a moment. "I can make all the arrangements, but where are you staying until then?" she asked curiously.

Just as the question left Beverly's lips, Deanna could hear footsteps outside the front door as the captain and the vineyard worker finished their conversation. The last thing she wanted at that moment was for the captain to walk in and find her speaking to Beverly. Clearly things between them were tenser than she thought. She heard the front door creak and she knew she needed to act fast. "Actually Beverly, I need to go. I'll contact you again soon, okay?" But before Beverly could even respond, Deanna continued. "Okay, Bye," and she quickly ended the transmition just as the captain stepped in the door.

Deanna stood up quickly, almost guiltily moving away from the computer. The captain smiled warmly at her and motioned to the computer screen. "Did you get in touch with your family in Greece?" he asked.

Deanna was puzzled only for a moment, and then decided to go with it. "No," she said simply.

"Well, no matter. I'm sure if you keep at it, you'll be able to arrange something."

With that, the captain moved on past the study and into the kitchen to fix himself some tea and Deanna gratefully followed.

….

Beverly Crusher sat staring at the blank screen in front of her in absolute shock. That wasn't like Deanna. For a while Beverly let her imagination take over, wondering if Deanna was okay, whether she was safe, then to whom she might be with that she didn't want Beverly to see. It couldn't be Will Riker. He was on the Columbia, days away, even at high warp. _Maybe because it wasn't Will Riker_, she thought. But Deanna could only have been on Earth for a few days at most… At least it was puzzling. At best it was an all out scandal. She tried to move on, tried to busy herself with other activities for a while, but her curiosity had gotten the best of her. She would simply redial and demand answers from her.

Beverly moved back to her computer and redialed the transmission code for the communication she had received earlier, and she waited. She could tell from the pre-fix that the call came from Europe someplace. After a few moments, the picture sprang to life, but it was not the person she anticipated seeing. She almost looked down to recheck the number she had dialed, but before she could, she recognized the bookcase that had been behind Deanna when they had been talking not too long before and realized, now, why it had seemed familiar.

"Beverly?" Jean-Luc asked after a pause. When Beverly didn't immediately respond, he continued. "This was unexpected. What can I do for you?"

Beverly only continued to stare.

"Beverly? Is everything alright?"

Beverly's mind was spinning as she desperately tried to find her footing. First of all, she hadn't been expecting to talk to him at all, not after the last conversation they had. She had told herself that if he wanted to apologize, he could come to her. She would NOT seek him out. But there was more than that. Deanna was there, with him. Why hadn't she told her? Why had she tried to hide it? She was staying with him_, in his home!_ Jean-Luc Picard did not invite people to stay with him in his home. What did this mean? Or was she just being crazy? Certainly nothing romantic or untorrid would take place, not between Jean-Luc and Deanna. No. But she wondered what Will Riker's reaction would be if he knew that Deanna was sleeping in the same empty house with their captain.

Maybe he would just laugh at her and tell her that she was crazy and had an overactive imagination.

"Beverly?"

Beverly shook herself back to reality. "Hello, Jean-Luc."

"Are you alright?"

"No, I mean, yes. Everything's fine. Why?"

"You seemed shocked to see me," he told her.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked defensively.

Jean-Luc looked at her, puzzled by her odd behavior. "You called me," he reminded her.

Beverly sighed and dropped her gaze. "Right. Yes. I did."

"Did you need something?"

"No," Beverly said, suddenly trying to sound casual. She wondered if he would hide Deanna's presence as Deanna had, or if he would even bother. "I was just wondering what you were doing with yourself."

"Oh. I …ah," The captain glanced over his shoulder towards the kitchen where Deanna had just walked out into the garden. "A bit of this and that. I was in San Francisco yesterday and stopped in to see you, but once again, you were not there."

Beverly's heart almost softened that he had clearly made an attempt to see her. Perhaps he wasn't as angry as he once had been. On the other hand, she could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I'm working on a research project. I'm sorry."

The two of them watched each other in silence, trying to read something in the other to make them understand. When he glanced over his shoulder again, she knew that he must be looking for Deanna and she felt her anger rage again.

_This is ridiculous_, she thought. _I am a grown woman. I am just going to ask_. "Actually, I was hoping to get in touch with Deanna," she said quickly as if she might loose her courage mid way through if she slowed down.

She immediately saw him tense. "Deanna?" Jean-Luc asked. For not the first time since Deanna had arrived, he wondered what others might think of his houseguest. Marie, of course, had accepted her with open arms and without hesitation, but there were others that he was not so sure of, first and foremost Will Riker and Beverly Crusher. "Did she tell you she was arriving from Betazed?"

_Well that was a vague response_. She didn't like that he thought he could divert her so easily, but she wasn't really ready to play her hand. "Yes. Have you spoken to her?" she asked, putting the ball firmly in his court.

Hesitantly he nodded. "Yes, yes."

That was enough for her. He had his opportunity to tell her that Deanna was in the next room. If he wanted to keep his secrets, that was fine. "Well, if you talk to her again, tell her I'm very much looking forward to our next conversation." Beverly said a bit coldly. "Good bye Jean-Luc. Give Marie my best. Crusher out." And with that she terminated their communication.

….

Jean-Luc stepped out into the garden where Deanna sat, wrapped in a light shawl as the afternoon breeze began to pick up. The sky overhead had grown cloudy. "I hear it's supposed to rain tomorrow," he told her, taking a seat next to her.

Deanna looked away from the swaying trees and back to her captain. He looked more troubled than he had been most of the day.

"Captain, what is it?" she asked.

But Jean-Luc shook his head almost lazily. "Nothing."

Deanna sat up a bit more. "Sir," she tried to sound more determined.

"You didn't by any chance speak to Beverly today, did you?" he asked.

Deanna's face fell. "I did," she admitted.

The captain gave a short almost silent huff. "But, I would venture a guess that you left out where you were calling from."

Deanna almost winced.

"Well, she knows now," he said simply, leaning back on the garden bench.

"Is she angry?" Deanna asked.

Jean-Luc just shook his head again. "Yes, but for what is a bit of a mystery."

Deanna leaned forward onto her knees in the shadowy light. She would give it one more try. "Captain, what happened with the two of you? Why are you both so angry?"

"It's nothing."

"Clearly it's not. Please, I want to help if I can."

"I was given the impression that you were on leave, Counselor." He used her title as if it were a weapon, meant to inflict pain.

Deanna gestured her surrender. "I'm just a friend who wants to help. I don't like seeing my friends fighting."

"We're not fighting."

"No, you're just not speaking to one another either."

The captain sighed heavily and dropped his head. "Sometimes things do not happen the way you would hope and sometimes we say things we wish we could take back." He shook his head again, this time with more determination, as if shaking away a memory. "She made her choices. I don't have to agree with them."

"Choices?" Deanna asked him. "What choices?" When the captain did not respond, she offered a possible suggestion. "Her medical research?" There was still no response, but the serge in his emotions told her she was on the right track. "You believe she has put her medical research above you?"

"Above anyone," he corrected. "Except, perhaps, Dr. Monroe." After a pause, he continued. "As I said, she has made her choices."

"And those choices take her away from you," Deanna stated, it was not a question. The captain's breathing was growing more labored. His emotions were churning. Clearly, the conversation was upsetting him, and yet, still, Deanna wanted more.

"Let's just say that I doubt, whole heartedly, that she will be returning to the Enterprise."

"That's not for at least another six months. A lot can happen in six months." Deanna watched her captain closely, but he seemed to be pulling away. "Do you want her on this new Enterprise, Captain?"

He looked back at her, his eyes wide. "Of course I do! She is a fine-"

But Deanna raised a hand to stop him. "Medical officer, yes. I know. But do you want Beverly Crusher aboard the Enterprise E?"

"I don't see how the questions differ," he said firmly.

"Yes, you do," Deanna told him. She could sense a new emotion from him, and it was fear. It was the same fear he felt every time he was forced to face an emotional truth.

The captain stood and began to pace along the garden path. "If she were not there…" he said, coming to a stop and gazing out over the vineyard.

Deanna absorbed his emotion and tried to put it into words for him. "You would miss her," she said quietly.

"Of course I would," he said softly. "I…"

He had come so close, it had almost slipped from his lips, but the captain's control had gotten the better of him. It didn't matter. Deanna could finish the sentence without his words. She could sense it from him. Unfortunately, Beverly Crusher could not. She would need to hear the words. 'I love her'. It seemed simple enough to say, and yet the words would not come.

The door into the kitchen opened and Marie Picard poked her head out, looking at the two of them in the garden. "I hope I am not interrupting," she offered. "But supper is ready, if you would care for some."

The smell of the slow cooking stew had been filling the house for most of the afternoon, and the two of them immediately headed inside.

"Forgive us, Marie. How can we help you?" Jean-Luc asked as he headed into the kitchen in front of Deanna. She knew that was the most she would get from him on the subject of Beverly Crusher.

….

Deanna walked up the steps to the front door carefully in the dim light from the porch. She had been staying with Captain Picard for nearly a week now, but it still felt strange returning to the home, alone in the dark. Deanna pushed the door open and stepped into the foyer. She immediately heard laughter from the dining room and headed off in that direction, finding the captain and Marie sitting around the table, each with a glass of wine, chuckling. The sight and the sounds of laughter warmed Deanna's heart. It was good to hear happy sounds fill the quiet house.

"Deanna," the captain greeted her. "Come in, come in," he gestured for her to join the two of them at the table. "How was it?" he asked.

Deanna sighed. She had spent the day with her father's family, his sister, and mother, in Greece. "Fine," she said vaguely.

"You met your grandmother?" Marie asked kindly.

Deanna nodded slowly.

"And?" the captain asked urging her for more.

"And she called me and my life an utter disappointment," Deanna said, trying to sound casual as if she could take it in stride.

The two Picards at the table froze in unbelief. "Deanna," Jean-Luc whispered with compassion.

But Deanna shook her head and tried to smile. "My grandmother is almost 90, and suffers from some dementia. My aunt tells me that anything out of her routine can make her testy." Deanna tried to brush it off, hoping she could hide the hurt in her voice.

"But still," Marie offered concerned, "What would make her say such a thing?"

Deanna gave a small shrug. "My aunt was baking, and I offered to help…but I apparently don't know how to kneed dough properly. My grandmother was quick to point out that if I had ever left the pampered life I led, I would have learned to do these basic things."

Deanna had tried to appear unaffected, but Jean-Luc could hear the soft sound of hurt in her voice, and his heart went out to her. He sighed heavily and pushed his chair back from the table, retrieved a glass from the hutch behind her and filled it with the wine bottle on the table. He handed her the glass, resting a hand on her shoulder in a gesture of support. He raised his eyebrow as offered her the glass, as if to tell her that he knew she could use the drink.

Deanna smiled softly and accepted the glass as the captain returned to his seat.

"What about the rest of the family, dear?" Marie asked her.

Deanna took a long sip and sighed as she felt the warm feeling of the liquid sliding down her throat. The captain was right; she could feel the tension of the day begin to melt away. "My aunt was wonderfully kind, and I met her sons as well…my cousins." Deanna said as she looked around the table where they sat.

"How rude of me," Marie said with a shake of her head. "Let me get you something to eat."

"Oh, no," Deanna protested. "Thank you Marie, but I couldn't. There was food everywhere, all day. And it was all so rich, and as soon as I finished one thing, my grandmother or my cousins were handing me something else, insisting I try it. I don't think I've eaten this much food in any one day in my life. In fact, I may never eat again."

Marie and Jean-Luc chuckled with her. "At least until tomorrow morning," the captain offered.

Deanna shrugged and sighed, relaxing back in her chair.

"So, Deanna, have you never met these people before?" Marie asked her, a bit puzzled.

Deanna shifted a bit in her chair as she settled in. "I remember coming to Earth with my parents when I was very young, and the memories are a little vague. But I do remember my aunt, and her daughter, who was just a baby. I remember walking with my grandmother in a market somewhere…" Deanna shrugged, remembering all she could.

"And that was the only time?" It seemed unfathomable to Marie that she did not know her family.

"My father died when I was nine. After that, I never went back to earth. His mother did come to Betazed, maybe six months after he died. I remember how upset my mother was, and how I hid at the top of the stairs in our home, listening as my mother and grandmother argued with her."

"What were they arguing about?" the captain asked curiously.

Deanna shook her head slightly as she took another sip from her glass. "I can't remember all of it, but it seemed like my father's mother wanted me to come back to earth with her. I don't know what she wanted…maybe just for a vacation. I can't imagine that she thought my mother would let me go longer than that. My mother was yelling that I was her child and that I belonged with my mother and my grandmother was shouting about my future duties as a daughter of the fifth house. All I could think was that I had barely heard my grandmother speak verbally in my life and here she was, screaming at this woman who I know was my father's mother, but who I barely knew. She left the next morning, and I didn't see her again until this morning."

"Nothing? No letters?" Marie asked, troubled.

"There were a few letters. I remember getting some gifts when I was younger. But after a few years, they tapered off. My aunt still writes me occasionally, and always remembers my birthday. She reminds me of my father," Deanna added softly.

"So, will you go back?" Jean-Luc asked cautiously.

Deanna chuckled softly. "Oh, yes. They are planning a family party next week. All my cousins, and aunt and grandmother and father's cousins and their parents, and grandchildren…"

"All to meet you?" he asked her.

Deanna smiled shyly as she shrugged her shoulders again. "I think I had better not eat the day before to make room for the food," she said as she stretched.

"You know, Deanna, speaking of food. I don't know how to make Greek breads, but I do know how to make French bread, and I would bet that the dough behaves roughly the same. I would be happy to teach you, if you'd like. It might ease some tensions with your grandmother," Marie offered.

Deanna smiled, as suddenly her eyes filled with tears. "Really?" she asked. "You wouldn't mind?"

Marie scoffed at her. "Of course not. In fact, I would thoroughly enjoy it."

Deanna again smiled her shy smile. "Thank you, Marie," she said quietly.

Jean-Luc watched her quietly from his side of the table. He wondered if his sister in law realized how much acceptance from her earth family would mean to Deanna Troi, a girl who was royalty in a sense, and yet never felt quite good enough for her Betazoid society, not quite telepathic enough.

"We can begin tomorrow," Marie offered.

"Oh, no," the captain interrupted. "I promised this young lady that we would spend tomorrow in Paris."

Deanna wiped at her eyes quickly. "I've never been to Paris," Deanna told Marie.

"Well, then you must go! We can make bread another day," she told Deanna, then turned to Jean-Luc. "You will show her all the sights," she insisted of her brother in law.

"Of course," he agreed.

"Thank you, Captain," Deanna said quietly.

Jean-Luc turned back to her with a bit of a huff. "While we're on that note, my dear," he said crossly. "You have been here almost a week now?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Have you seem me in a uniform? Seen a star ship in the east fields?"

"No," Deanna said slowly, a bit confused.

"Any admirals roaming the grounds?"

Deanna shook her head.

"And yet you continue to address me as 'Captain'."

Deanna looked at he skeptically. "Sir, you are my captain."

"At this moment, Deanna, I am no one's captain."

Deanna looked a bit confused. "So what would you suggest I call you?" she asked puzzled.

"What everyone else calls me!" he said insistently.

Deanna smiled in spite of herself. "Everyone I know calls you 'Captain'," she told him simply.

Jean-Luc rolled his eyes. "Have I called you 'counselor' for the last week?" he asked her.

"Only when you were scolding me," she told him with another chuckle.

"In that case, if you continue to call me 'Captain' I will have to assume I am being scolded."

Marie laughed quietly from her end of the table, watching the two of them.

"My name is Jean-Luc. I would appreciate if you would refer to me by my name for the remainder of your stay," he concluded, nodding to himself. "Would that be acceptable?" he asked her.

Deanna tried to hide her amusement. "Whatever you prefer, Sir. Jean-Luc!" she quickly corrected herself. "I'll try my best," she admitted a bit reluctantly, as she sat as if she had been reprimanded.

Jean-Luc settled back into his chair, somewhat satisfied, and took another sip of wine. "Now that that is taken care of…would you care for another piece of interesting news?" he asked Deanna rather coyly.

"I don't know, would I?" she responded with some skepticism. She had had quite a day. She didn't know if she could take any big news, especially if it were unpleasant.

"You would," he confirmed for her. Deanna gave a nod of consent and the captain continued. "I received a message from Admiral DeYek this afternoon. He happened to mention that the Columbia was returning to Earth in eight days." He waited for Deanna to respond, but she seemed pensive. "They're doing a routine crew exchange and taking on some cargo. They'll be here for four days before they depart again for Vulcan. I'm sure her commanding officer could find a free moment to-"

Deanna's face was slowly unfolding into a huge smile. "Really?" she interrupted him.

"I assume if he's properly motivated…"

Deanna bit at her bottom lip to stifle a small squeal. Will was coming to Earth. They would finally be in the same place at the same time. "In how many days?" she finally asked, a bit shocked.

"Eight."

"And will be here for?"

"Four. So said the admiral, at least. Why?"

Deanna leaned back in her chair, curling her legs to her side. Her smile was insuppressible as she bit slightly on her own nail as she thought.

"Deanna?" he asked slowly. She was up to something.

"You realize that will put him here on his birthday," Deanna told him.

"Is that right? Well, perhaps we could find an appropriate gift for him tomorrow while we are in Paris. I assume you will be finding a way to see him while he is here, yes?"

Deanna giggled slightly as a blush crossed her face.

"Who are we talking about here?" Marie asked, confused.

"A friend," Jean-Luc said simply, never taking his eyes from his gleeful friend.

"Oh, is this that tall gentleman with the beard…I've forgotten his name," Marie muttered.

"Will Riker," Jean-Luc and Deanna answered in perfect unison, then smiled at one another.

"Oh, I see," Marie almost sang. "I had no idea," she smiled at Deanna.

Deanna's smile faded ever so slightly as she looked away. It was unlike her to be so unguarded about her feelings. It was just that she had missed him so much. "There's nothing to know, really," Deanna told the other woman at the table.

"Oh?" Marie asked looking to her brother in law.

Jean-Luc shook his head with a mock expression, as if she shouldn't believe a word of it.

"I see," Marie said again.

Deanna sighed and took a last sip of wine. "And with that," Deanna said placing her glass back on the table. "I think I'll head up to bed. Thank you Marie."

"Of course, dear," she told her. "Goodnight."

Deanna walked to where the captain sat content in his chair and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Good night, Jean-Luc," she told him.

He reached up and patted her hand on his shoulder. "Good night Deanna," he said in return and Deanna slipped away, up the stairs, her mind swirling with thoughts of Will Riker and what she could do to surprise him.

….

Deanna emerged the next morning, dressed and ready to go in a short white dress with thick black leggings, her hair pulled into a long braid down her back. The captain caught a glimpse of her as she came down the stairs and thought for the second time in only a few days of how young she suddenly seemed, like her whole life was in front of her still.

Jean-Luc was surrounded by vineyard workers, telling him of a problem with the heaters in one of the fields. He motioned to her that he would just be a moment and Deanna nodded, heading out into the back garden off the kitchen to wait.

When the captain emerged a few moments later, he smiled at her. "You're ready then?" he asked.

"Cap-…Jean-Luc," she caught herself. "If you are needed here, I can go alone, or we could go another day."

"Nonsense. They are all far more capable than I." He offered her his hand. "Shall we?"

Deanna smiled and together they set off to town for breakfast and then on to Paris. For hours they strolled through the city, along the river, through museums and cathedrals.

They ate a late lunch from a street vendor near the base of the Eiffel tower and browsed through some shops, under the pre-text of finding gifts for Will Riker's birthday.

Deanna wasn't sure she had ever seen the captain more relaxed, and far happier than he had been when she first ran into him a week before in San Francisco. He talked freely of his youth, and she found him, more than once, watching her expression as she saw something for the first time. The fact that Deanna was thoroughly enjoying herself seemed to give him a distinct sense of pleasure and pride in him homeland.

"It's truly breathtaking, Jean-Luc," she told him as they strolled in the breeze along the seine.

"Oh, you should wait another hour or two," he said glancing at the sky and falling sun. "They call it the city of lights for a reason."

They walked on into the falling evening, window-shopping and talking until he lead them into a restaurant, just off the beaten path. The dining room was fairly crowded, but he led her through the tables onto a patio, where heat radiated from the floors to take the chill away from the air. There were few others eating there and he seemed to know exactly where he was going. He came to a table at the edge of the patio and pulled out a chair for Deanna to sit. She did, graciously and then she looked around her to see the Eiffel Tower framed perfectly between two buildings, lit up against the dark sky.

"Oh," Deanna heard herself sigh.

"It's impressive, yes?"

"Very," Deanna responded as he sat in the seat across from her. "How did you find this spot?" she asked him.

"A great deal of wandering," he told her simply. "I'm glad that you like it."

Deanna could sense the contentment coming from her companion as he handed her a menu. She was glad to see that the trip had at least in part lifted some of the sadness from his heart. In fact he seemed so at ease that she couldn't imagine a better opportunity to bring up the plan she had come up with the night before.

"What?" he asked, and Deanna realized she had been staring at him.

She smiled and shook her head. "I was just thinking how fortunate I was to happen to run into you in San Francisco," she told him. "I've missed you."

"I'm sure, if you stay much longer, that feeling will fade," he told her light heartedly.

"I don't know. I miss everyone. Don't you?" she asked cautiously.

"Are you asking if I miss my senior staff?"

Deanna treaded carefully, feeling some of his guards returning. "I am."

The captain let out a long held breath and sat further back in his chair, forgetting the menu entirely. "Almost nine years…Yes, of course. But I also know that lives go on. People make decisions that are best for them. I wish them well."

The sadness was back, and Deanna wondered if she had said the wrong things. "Worf?" she asked quietly. She looked down at her hands, folded on the edge of the table, feeling suddenly very guilty.

Jean-Luc leaned closer to her before he spoke. "He made the decision that was best for him, and he wants you to do the same."

Deanna nodded, but kept her eyes down, trying to hide the tears she felt suddenly burn at her eyes. "I'll miss him," she whispered.

The captain reached his hand out to cover hers, lightly, and they sat in silence for a moment, letting the sadness seep in again.

"Hey," he finally whispered. "It's strictly forbidden to be feeling sorry for yourself on a night like this in Paris."

Deanna smiled again, remembering that she had something she wanted to speak with him about. She wasn't at all sure that he would think it was a good idea, though the private captain she thought she knew had invited her to his home without a thought.

"There's that look again," he told her watching her closely. "Are you going to tell me what's occupying so much of your attention this evening?

"I'm sorry," she said softly shaking her head. "I was just thinking…"

"About?" he asked. His eyebrow arched. "Will Riker?"

"In a way," Deanna told him a bit timidly.

"In a way?" he asked puzzled. "What are you cooking up in that head of yours?"

"It's just a thought," she told him quickly. "And I would completely understand if you said no."

"How can I say no when I don't know what it is I'm saying no to?"

"A party," she said quickly, then held her breath as she awaited his response.

"For Will?" he asked.

Deanna nodded firmly, biting back a small smile.

"Wouldn't you prefer… to be…alone?" he asked a bit awkwardly.

Deanna had considered that, of pulling him away from San Francisco and hiding in some nearby town, only emerging from their lodging to occasionally find food. But the more she had thought about it the night before, the more she knew she wasn't ready for that, not to watch him leave again in a few days, to return to hurried notes passing through sub-space. No. He had left her once. She wasn't ready to dive head long into that. And yet she desperately wanted to see him. But she knew the both of them well enough to know that if they were alone much of anywhere, they would inevitably end up in that position.

"I considered that," she finally told him. "But we have all been so far apart for six months and none of us seem to have found a reason good enough to get together. I thought maybe this could be it."

"And we would invite to this party…"

"Geordi, Data…Beverly," she added cautiously.

"And you think they would come?" he asked, then corrected. "That they would be able to come?"

"Will won't be here for another week. Geordi's at Utopia Plenita. He could be here in three or four days, and Data is at Starbase 212. That would be a what?"

"Five or so days, depending on the ship," he told her.

"And Beverly could be here in a matter of minutes…"

"If she chose to be," he added softly. "And Worf?"

"Is there any way to make it that far?" she asked.

The captain made a face that she interpreted as it being unlikely. "Do you really think he'd try?" he asked her sadly.

"Maybe not, but I'd invite him anyway."

Jean-Luc took a moment to think about it, as he drummed his fingers on the table. "And this would be at my home, in LaBarre?"

"If you were willing," Deanna offered.

"And what would we _do _at this party?" he asked her.

"Talk, eat…"

"Poker," the captain told her definitely. "If it is Will's party, I think it is imperative that we all wipe the floor with him at a hand of poker." There was a smile on his lips as he picked up his menu again.

"Is that a yes?" she asked cautiously.

"Call the rest. If they can get here in time…"

This time Deanna couldn't contain her quick squeal. She reached over and threw her arms around him. "Thank you Ca-" she stopped short. "Damn it," she muttered and they both began to laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello everyone. Once again, I find myself telling you all how sorry I am for the delay in posting. The truth is, I have started a new work (original work) and I am loving it. But I get stuck occasionally and come back to the familiar for an ego boost. Of course that didn't really work this time. I wrote this several weeks ago and it has been being edited ever since. It was really quite poorly written. And after 6 or 7 revisions, I'm still not sure it's great, but it's good enough, and hopefully will tide you over for a while. I tend to write more when I get to hear from you, so please review and it may pick up the pace.

**Chapter 4**

The next few days were a whirlwind. Deanna contacted Geordi and Data first thing the next morning. They both seemed very excited and confirmed that they would be there in time. The next call, however, took more persuading.

"In LeBarre?" Beverly asked her. "And the captain thinks this is a good idea?"

"He said he did. Come on Beverly. It's Will's birthday and who knows how long it will be until we can all see each other again. So we trade New Zealand for France, and we get to see Data and Geordi-"

"And Will," Beverly teased her friend.

Deanna sighed as if it were an admission. "And Will," she conceded with a hint of a smile. "Come on Beverly…"

"And Jean-Luc knows we'd all be coming to stay?" Beverly asked doubtfully.

"He's out getting poker chips right now. He's already picked a good year of wine for us."

Deanna watched as Beverly's lips twisted in thought.

"Oh, okay," Beverly gave in. "Because it's Will's birthday," she said with earnest determination. "When are the others arriving? Thursday morning?"

Deanna saw an opening and without hesitation, told her a lie. "Wednesday, actually. Can you make it?"

Beverly tapped her finger as she thought. "I'm going to have to get these files back to Star Fleet Headquarters. I could be there Wednesday late afternoon. Is that too late?"

Deanna's smile broadened. "That's perfect. I'll see you then."

"And there's room for everyone to stay? You're sure?"

Deanna nodded vigorously.

"Okay," Beverly shrugged with only a hint of skepticism.

By the time Deanna ended the communication a moment later, she was already scheming another plan.

"So I hear we're planning a party," Marie called to her as she walked through the front doors a moment later, a full basket in her arms.

Deanna jumped up to help her. "I hope that is alright with you," Deanna offered as she helped her with the basket, wondering if she should have asked Marie first. It was, after all, her home.

"Of course. This house could use a party, if you ask me. It's been nothing but dreary for six months now. René would not have been very happy with that," she ended softly. She shook her head, chasing away her mournful thoughts. "I saw my dear friend Marta today and asked her a favor for you. Her husband's mother is Greek, and I knew she had learned to bake some things for the holidays for her mother in law. So I asked if she had a fool proof recipe and she gave me this," she said taking a card from the basket.

Deanna took the card and read it "Eliopsomo," she tried phonetically.

"It's an olive bread. She promised me it was easier than it looked, so I got all the ingredients we need. I thought we could try a batch today, and if it went well… I thought perhaps you could make a loaf next week to take to the family party with you. A little gift…to impress your grandmother," she offered.

Deanna smiled a bit hesitantly. "It looks complicated."

"We'll figure it out together," Marie assured her.

"Thank you, Marie. You didn't have to go to all this trouble."

Marie reached out to Deanna and smiled sincerely. "If it helps you get to know your family here, then it's well worth it. Come on," she urged her into the kitchen.

….

The captain spent the next two days watching his friend try over and over again to master the art of baking under the strong tutelage of his sister in law. He ate more breads and pastries in that two-day period than he had since he was a child. He sampled each creation, and if he approved of the results of their efforts, Deanna and Marie would carry the remaining goodies out into the vineyard to give the rest to the vineyard workers. And Jean-Luc was grateful. Had they expected him to eat it all, he would certainly have eaten himself ill.

Once Deanna seemed to have the knack of it, she was almost floating around the kitchen, and Jean-Luc watched with veiled amusement. "Oh, I don't think that's necessary," he told the two women as Deanna announced that she had decided to make all the food for the party herself.

"Don't you worry, Jean-Luc. I'll help her. We're having a wonderful time," Marie told him, and for the first time in a long time, she looked as if she was.

The kitchen was a mess. A fine layer of flour seemed to cover the floor and every flat surface had some remnant of some creation on it. Deanna had chocolate smeared on the side of her cheek from the éclair topping, and there were even a few sprays of white dots in her hair from her whipping the cream filling. Yet, both women were smiling and there had been a chorus of laughter spilling from the room for two days. Of course there had also been the occasional mumbled curse when Deanna's creations had fallen short, but he had pretended not to hear those. He discovered that he was learning new things about Deanna every day, including her hidden talent of cursing in many far-reaching languages. He wasn't sure he had ever heard her curse before, but the way long strings of foreign expletives left her mouth, gave him the impression that it was not as rare of an event as he may have imagined.

"Why? Is it bad?" Deanna pleaded, pointing to the cream puffs that filled the small table in the corner next to him.

Jean-Luc smiled, unable to hide his amusement. "No, it just seems to be a large amount of work. We could get something from the bakery in town," he offered. "Unless you're trying to impress someone," he added with a slight raise of his brow.

Deanna scowled at his attempt at humor, but did not respond.

"Don't tease the girl," Marie scolded him. "If she wants to bake, let her bake," she offered turning back to the sink where she was working. "I'm already picking something to make for supper for the lot of you."

"Well," the captain admitted defeat with a shrug, then grabbed a cream puff and popped the whole thing into his mouth, and paused while he ate his prize. "Just pick something that goes well with the '49. I already have the bottles out of the reserve."

"The '49?" Marie asked him skeptically.

"Why? Do you think the '52 would be better?" he asked his sister in law.

Deanna watched the two of them and shook her head. She wasn't sure that she would ever be able to tell the difference.

"The '49 is fine," Marie assured him. "They aren't coming for the wine. Now, go," she shoed him away as he reached for another pastry. "Supper will be ready shortly. Go on. You're disturbing our chats."

The captain shook his head and made his way to the stairs. "I know when I'm not wanted," he muttered sarcastically to the women he left behind.

"Oh," Deanna sighed as he disappeared into the dining room. "Poor man."

"Poor man indeed," Marie agreed, then dropped her voice to a whisper. "So tell me again, Beverly arrives on Wednesday?"

Deanna nodded.

"I'd like to see her again," Marie mused as she continued her work. "He used to speak of her constantly in his letters, and yet in the last few months, I've barely heard anything about her at all."

"It would seem they had some sort of disagreement," Deanna told her quietly.

"And you intend to put an end to it, I take it?"

A slow smile crept over Deanna's face. "Is that so wrong?" she asked her. "They both seem so… hurt," she finally concluded.

Marie sighed. "I'd say broken-hearted."

Deanna looked over at her companion, a little shocked.

"I may not have seen much of him in the last 10 years, but I know what I'm hearing when I read it. You can only go on and on about someone in a letter so often before the rest of us can figure him out."

Deanna couldn't help but smile.

"Or be in a house with someone for a few weeks and not figure _her_ out," Marie added with a sharp eye on Deanna.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Deanna asked, though she knew perfectly well.

"Oh, you should have seen your face light up at the mention of his name," Marie softly coaxed. "Tell me about this Commander Riker of yours."

"Oh, he's not mine," Deanna corrected her quickly. "We're…friends."

"Oh, good. Robert and I were the best of friends. I think it works out much better that way, don't you?" she asked without missing a beat and Deanna gave up trying to convince her otherwise. It was no use.

….

Jean-Luc Picard stood hovering over his computer with Deanna urging him on.

"He'll ask what this is about," he told her.

"Just act natural," she coaxed him. "You can get away with being…a little…aloof," she admitted hesitantly.

The captain looked back at her disapprovingly for a moment before he continued. "I just say that I want to talk to him about some things?"

"In person," Deanna added.

"In person while he's here. And is there any way he can meet me here on Thursday."

"Yes, that's it," Deanna told him excitedly. "You've already checked with Admiral DeYek. There's nothing on his schedule at Star Fleet Headquarters until Saturday morning, right?"

"Nothing at headquarters. I don't know what is going on aboard ship, or what work he may have in mind to get done…"

"Captain!" Deanna interrupted him, purposely using his rank to scold him. "This needs to sound immensely more important. He'll come if you ask him to," she added softly.

"He'd come if _you_ asked him to," he told her with a bit of a sigh.

Deanna smiled. "Well that would take some of the fun out of it, wouldn't it?" she said happily. She pointed meaningfully to the computer. His time for hemming and hawing was over.

He gave a short nod and sat down in front of the screen, and began to key in the subspace relays. Deanna nervously paced out of sight of the screen. She felt completely distracted, uncharacteristically exposed, as she tried to hide her inner swirl of emotions.

The movement out of the corner of his eye as Deanna crossed back and forth before him was enough to put him on edge. "Deanna," he finally called. "Please hold still. You're making me nervous."

"Sorry," she muttered quietly and dropped into a chair opposite him, trying to hold her body still as she sat, crossing her legs, hiding directly behind the monitor. In just a few moments, Will Riker's voice would fill the room. Maybe he would even laugh. She loved the sound of his laugh. She missed that sound. For a moment, she actually considered throwing her plan to the wind and asking her captain to step aside so she could talk to him herself. For what it was worth, for a very brief moment she considered abandoning the party all together and asking him to hide away with her in some small town somewhere and spend the days tucked away, only emerging occasionally for food. But the thought died away with the sound of the captain clearing his throat insistently.

She glanced over at him and saw the arched eyebrow, and his eyes almost glaring at her. She thought she might have heard the thump before she even felt the movement of her own body. Maybe she had heard it all along, but much to her embarrassment, it only just registered that the rapid tapping in the room was from her foot hitting against the leg of the desk in front of her. She tried again to still her anxious body. "Sorry," she mumbled again, uncrossing her legs, putting her feet flat on the floor and sitting up straighter, in an attempt to appear more put together than she was feeling. The captain watched her for a moment and sighed.

Deanna was too anxious and even in her state; she could feel her nerves pouring off her and onto her captain. "Right," she agreed with his unspoken comment. "Maybe it would be better if I went and helped Marie with dinner," she offered.

"Perhaps that would be best," he agreed, trying not to seem too overjoyed by her departure, but he could do without the audience.

Deana gave him an understanding nod, and with one longing glance, she made her way off to the kitchen where Marie was creating something that smelled rich and delicious.

Jean-Luc Picard watched her go gratefully and began again to prepare for his performance. He adjusted himself in his chair, trying to find a way to sit so he would appear relaxed and comfortable. When the communications system beeped, Jean-Luc was ready.

Will Riker sat in the chair in his ready room, looking pleasantly surprised. "Captain!" he called.

"Hello Will," Captain Picard spoke more sedately. "How are you?"

"Well I'm…" Will seemed to glance over his screen in the direction of his bridge, and his smile faded slightly. He let out a long, heavy sigh. "I'm alright," he said resting his chin in his hand, almost chuckling at his own circumstances. "How are you, Sir?"

"I'm finding keeping a vineyard warm in the middle of winter is a combination of mythology and modern technology."

"Makes you wonder how they made wine anciently," Will mused.

"No, it makes me realize why some years were prized so highly in comparison to others."

"True enough, I suppose," Will admitted. He took a good hard look at his captain. "What can I do for you, Captain?" he asked. "I'm sure you didn't call to talk to me about wine."

"No, I suppose not," the captain admitted. "Is it wrong to want to talk to a friend?"

Will couldn't help but be taken aback. The captain didn't often call his colleagues his friends. He knew they were, knew the captain cared for them like family, but he had only heard him say it in moments of extreme emotion. He wondered what the emotion was now. "No, Sir. Not at all. Is everything alright?" He couldn't help but notice that something about the man seemed a bit off somehow.

The captain gave what he hoped looked like a weary smile. "I heard a rumor you were on your way back to Earth."

"We should be there in a couple of days, assuming my crew can keep the engines running," he mumbled quietly. "What did you have in mind, Sir?"

Jean-Luc sighed heavily. "I was hoping you might have some time to talk, Number One. There is… there is a lot to talk about."

"Is there something wrong, Captain?" Will could see that lost look in his eye, the same look he had had every time Will had seen him since the funeral for his family.

Jean-Luc sighed again, keeping that sullen look on his face. "I could use a listening ear, Number One. I was hoping you might let me bend yours."

"Always, Sir. About anything."

Jean-Luc smiled weakly at his friend. "There are some things that are easier to talk over in person. Will you have any time while you're here?"

"Yes, of course. I'll be there a few days…"

"The sooner, the better, Will. Could you meet me here on Thursday?" Jean-Luc asked.

Will stopped and thought about his schedule, not wanting to turn his captain down. He didn't ask to talk often. "I can be there," he told him.

The captain smiled broadly. "Thank you, Number One. I really appreciate this. I should make it up to you somehow," he said casually. Then he looked back, as if the thought had just occurred to him. "You know, you should stay for a day. Cut loose in Paris… You've been working too hard, Will. I can see that from here. You could disappear here for a bit. No one would bother you."

Will almost laughed. Somehow he didn't think the captain was serious. "Thanks," he told him.

"So you'll stay?" Jean-Luc asked hopefully. Very purposely, for the first time in the conversation he let himself truly smile.

"Oh, it's a tempting offer, Sir. But I have a lot to do…"

"There's always a lot to do, Number One. And always more time to do it. You need a break. Now, I insist. You'll come and stay the night. Drink too much wine and eat good French food. Marie cooks constantly and the food is excellent. I'm going to need all new uniforms," he added with a chuckle. "Come on, now, Will. You were always the one saying I needed a vacation…"

Will seemed to ponder the offer for a moment. "Well, okay," he finally answered. "If you're sure I won't be an imposition."

"Not at all. I'll be offended if you don't stay," he told him sternly. "Now, go tend to your work. I'll see you Thursday."

"Until Thursday then," Will replied. With a nod, Jean-Luc ended the transmission and Will was left alone once again in his ready room, staring at a blank screen and wondering what in the world had just happened.

….

Beverly Crusher stepped off the transporter pad the next day and shivered as the cool breeze of winter blew around her. She had been spending so much of her time in Australia that the abrupt switch in seasons made the chill seem worse than it really was. She pulled her coat around her and shifted the weight of the bag over her shoulder as she set off.

"Beverly!" Deanna called through the small gathering of people, and the two women made their way towards each other.

Deanna was wearing a coat, clearly too large to be her own as she bobbed through the crowd. "Beverly!" she called again as she grew closer.

"What are you doing here?" Beverly asked her. "I thought I was meeting you at the house?"

"I just wanted to make sure you made it," Deanna said casually as she took her bag from her.

"Deanna, we had a fight, not a bout of amnesia. I remember the way through town."

"Good, I wasn't sure," she said simply as she headed off leading the way.

"You came to make sure I behave." Beverly's tone was a bit harsher than she had intended, but she didn't like the thought of being given a babysitter.

"Oh, no," Deanna answered with a small chuckle. "I gave up on _you_ behaving yourself years ago. I just came to greet my friend."

A breeze blew through the buildings again and both women huddled further into their coats from the cold. "Are you sure you don't want to trade back to New Zealand?" Beverly asked with a shiver.

"It was quite lovely until yesterday. The storm is supposed to blow through tonight, and by tomorrow we should have nice mild weather again," Deanna told her as they continued through the quaint town and out the road towards the vineyard.

"So, are Geordi and Data already here?" Beverly asked casually as she walked, but froze in her place when she saw Deanna's hesitation.

"Well, no. Not yet," Deanna admitted. "Data will be here this evening," she added, hoping to dissuade the anger she fully expected to be coming her way.

"You mean I'm the only one? When does Will arrive?"

"Tomorrow afternoon," Deanna confessed. "We're not really sure of what time, but I'm so glad you could arrive early. I'm baking all the treats and I could use all the help I can get," she said in a vain attempt to distract her friend.

"Deanna," Beverly cried in protest. "You set me up."

"Don't be ridiculous," Deanna skirted the truth. "Data will be here in a bit and Geordi was delayed until tomorrow morning. Come on, it's cold out here. Let's get up to the house." Deanna pulled on her friend's elbow, urging her on as they continued down the path.

Deanna and Beverly made their way inside the house and the two women settled into the couch. Deanna kept the mood light as she and Beverly caught up.

"Enough work, your guests are arriving!" they heard the captain's sister in law call as she opened the front door to the home several minutes later. Jean-Luc Picard was just behind her and almost on instinct, Deanna and Beverly both rose at the sound of his voice.

The captain froze, every muscle in his jaw rigid, as the room fell eerily quiet. Some emotion quickly swept over his face and then, in an instant, the Captain Picard that Deanna knew so well stood before her as if he had emerged from a fog, pulling his shirt down out of habit. "Doctor Crusher," he said quietly.

The words cut like a knife, and Beverly felt the sting. "Hello Captain," she replied softly in kind.

No one moved, as the silence stretched on between them. Deanna and Marie exchanged worried looks, and then Marie decided to take action. She stepped toward Beverly, her arms outstretched. "Beverly, how good to see you again. We're so glad you could come," she told her as she hugged her.

"Yes, of course," the captain added, trying to find some sort of level ground between personal and professional. "Of course. I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you when you arrived. It was my understanding that the guests were not arriving until tomorrow."

"If it's a bother…" Beverly began, but Marie and Deanna both cut her off.

"No!" they spoke together.

"No," Jean-Luc repeated. "Please, make…make yourself at home," he said, but somehow the words seemed awkward. "Has Deanna shown you to a room?" he asked, noticing her bag next to the couch.

"No, not yet," Deanna answered. "Would you like to?"

The room endured another awkward pause. "Oh…I…," Jean-Luc looked desperately around.

"Didn't you need to talk to Mr. Lanham before supper?" Marie asked, again coming to the rescue.

"Yes," Jean-Luc responded eagerly. "Yes, I do. I'm sorry. If you would all excuse me. I will be back before supper." And with a small nod to them all, he made his way out.

Deanna gave Beverly the tour of the less public areas of the home, as Beverly walked silently behind her. The more Deanna spoke, the more she wondered if bringing Beverly and the captain together like this had been a mistake.

She turned into the room just across the hall from her own and led Beverly inside. "And this is where you will be staying. I'm right across the hall," she said motioning to her own room.

Beverly peeked momentarily into Deanna's room. She couldn't help but feel it should have been her, playing hostess in this house where Deanna was moving around so comfortably; that it could have been her, perhaps was more of the problem.

"Beverly," Deanna called to her sadly as she watched her friend.

"Did you choose your room, or did he?" Beverly asked, distantly as she hovered in the doorway.

"Does it matter?" Deanna asked her.

"It does to me."

"He did," Deanna answered her. "Why?"

Beverly glanced back down the corridor where they had come. "Could he have put you further from his own room if he tried?" she muttered.

"I think that was his way of maintaining some privacy," Deanna offered. "I can respect that. The captain is a very private man."

Beverly bit back her angry response and glanced away from her friend, instead moving to put her bag down in the room Deanna had chosen for her.

"Beverly," Deanna offered again.

"I'm fine," Beverly shrugged her off. "The room is lovely. Do you suppose these furnishings are all original to the home?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

Deanna sank down onto the large bed in the center of the room and crossed her legs. "Beverly, what happened?" she asked directly. "Please tell me," she begged.

Beverly dropped the sweater she was folding into a drawer and sighed heavily. "It doesn't matter," she told her quietly. "We can't go back and change things. It's better to just let it go."

"I don't believe that," Deanna said sadly. "Sometimes we all say or do things we wish we hadn't. Being friends means that we are willing to look past those things." She watched as Beverly made her way to the bed and sat down across from her. "Tell me about it, Beverly. I want to help if I can."

"Uhh," Beverly moaned, covering her face with her hands. "I panicked," she finally managed to mutter. "I panicked. That's what started it," she began again, more diligently.

"What do you mean, you panicked?" Deanna asked calmly.

"Oh, Dea," Beverly said, falling back on the comforter, so she lay across the foot of the bed. "It all started just after you left for Betazed. I was lonely, I guess, and Jean-Luc was… I don't know what he was. He seemed so different somehow. Sad."

"Lost," Deanna added.

"Yes!" Beverly agreed. "He would send some note and I would respond. We did this for weeks, each time sharing a little about our day. He seemed to want to see me and I missed him. I was worried about him. So he came up to San Francisco and the two of us went to dinner. He had picked this lovely restaurant just along the bay with these huge arching windows and candles everywhere. And suddenly I'm eating a dinner salad and looking around at the people around me and realized that this was meant to be romantic. There were lovers all around us and … and I panicked. He was changing the rules on me, and it wasn't just that. It was this intensity in him… Oh, I don't know Deanna. I can't explain it."

"So what did you do?"

Beverly closed her eyes and shook her head, ashamed of herself. "I started talking about Jack. I told every story I could think of about him and the time we all spent in San Francisco. And every story I told, I could see they were hurting him, and I couldn't seem to stop myself." Beverly watched as her friend sat studying her. "Oh, and then to top it all off, just as we were finishing dinner, that's when I first met Gordon."

"Gordon?" Deanna asked puzzled.

"Dr. Monroe. We had read each other's work and we had been trying to meet for the few days before, but we hadn't been able to connect for one reason or another, and just out of nowhere, there he was, in this restaurant. He must have recognized my picture or something, because he knew who I was, and he came up to our table and introduced himself. Oh, Deanna, I was genuinely excited to meet him. The kind of work he is doing could help so many people. And we got to talking, but…"

"The captain didn't take too kindly to that," Deanna finished for her.

"Gordon is a very dynamic person, almost overtly so, and…I don't know. It all seemed to spin out of control. The dinner was over before I knew how to solve the mess I'd gotten myself into and Jean-Luc was eerily silent."

"He was hurt," Deanna told her, though she suspected that she already knew that.

Beverly nodded, slowly. "I tried to apologize a few days later. I did. I called him up and we talked, really talked and I thought it was better. I thought he understood where I was, and I understood where he was. I thought it made sense."

"But?" Deanna urged her on.

"But a few weeks later, he just showed up in my office. He didn't tell me he was coming. He had it all planned, but I was leaving for Dr. Monroe's lab the next day. We had carefully calculated experiments, and he was holding off on two delicate surgeries in order to give me time to arrive so I could assist him. This was important to me, Deanna."

"And the captain?"

"He didn't tell me he was coming. We hadn't spoken in over a week and he just showed up with plans to head off for the weekend. He had this whole trip planned!"

"And that made you angry," Deanna offered.

"No. Yes. I don't know. But it didn't matter how I felt about it. Even if I had wanted to go, I couldn't have."

"And did you?"

"What?" Beverly asked confused.

"Did you want to go?"

Beverly lay staring at the ceiling. "I don't know, Deanna. I don't know. Part of me says no, that we are better the way we have always been, and yet there's this piece of me that is watching you walk through _his home_ like you belong here somehow, and… and…"

"And…" Deanna encouraged.

"And it makes my blood boil!"

"You're angry that I'm here?"

"Yes!" Beverly blurted. "Oh, I don't know," she said hanging her head in shame.

"You're jealous," Deanna offered again. "Of me?"

"I'm his closest friend," Beverly said defensively. "Me!"

"I know that," Deanna told her calmly. "I have no intention of changing that."

"It doesn't matter. The moment I told him where I was going, he just shut down. He didn't say three more words to me, and even when I tried to explain, he just ignored me. I was so frustrated and I yelled at him. I don't know why I did it. I don't even remember exactly what I said. Something like he had no right to interfere in my life. I don't know. And he just walked away. He walked out. He didn't look back. He didn't say anything. I tried to apologize, for weeks I tried to apologize, but he wouldn't take my calls. He didn't answer my messages. He cut me off! Jean-Luc Picard cut _me _off, like he's got so many friends he can go cutting some out of his life," she said angrily.

"Beverly, this is Jean-Luc Picard we're talking about. For him to do something like that, to extend himself that far… to ask you to run off with him for the weekend… I can't imagine how rejected he felt," Deanna tried to not be overly judgmental.

Yet, Beverly hung her head again in shame. "I know," she admitted. "I know I should have handled it better. My mouth is always getting me in trouble."

Deanna watched Beverly closely as she sat up again, tucking her legs to her chest. "Is it your mouth, or is it your fear?" Deanna asked her quietly.

Beverly's eyes shot up, staring wide-eyed back at her. "You think I did it on purpose?" she asked.

"I think you tired to apologize and when that didn't go like you wanted, you cut him out as well."

Beverly let out a long sigh as she hung her head again. "Maybe this was a mistake. He doesn't even want me here," she muttered.

"I don't think that's true. I think he misses you very much. And I think being this angry with someone must take an extraordinary amount of energy. Wouldn't it be easier to try to resolve this, one way or another?"

"He won't even talk to me. You saw him, he ran from the room as fast as he could."

"That's my fault," Deanna confessed. "I told him you were coming tomorrow. You know he doesn't like being caught off guard. I should have known better." Deanna slipped from the side of the bed. "Regardless of that, you are here now, so let's make the most of it," she told her friend with almost perky determination.

"What if he avoids me like this the whole time?" Beverly asked sadly.

Deanna pushed her hair back over her shoulder as she turned to leave the room. "I have no intention of letting that happen," she said as she headed out into the hall and down the stairs.

….

Beverly and Deanna spent most of the afternoon in the study, watching the wind whip through the trees on the grounds as they talked about all that had been happening in their lives that hadn't seemed to make it into the sub space messages.

Deanna heard Marie setting the table in the dining room and wandered in to help, Beverly in tow. "It smells wonderful, Marie," Deanna told her.

Marie set the glasses on the table and smiled.

"Oh, I feel awful. You don't have to cook for us," Beverly told her.

"Nonsense," Marie said, in protest. "Cooking has been my one true solace in the last few months. I wouldn't dream of not cooking for all of you while you are here. It's the least I can do."

"Oh, I wouldn't say so. We've taken over your home-"

"It's Jean-Luc's home as well. And like I told Deanna, it could use some life to it, wouldn't you say? This whole affair is doing me twice as much good as it will for any of you. I need less idle time."

Beverly softly closed her eyes for a moment and Deanna felt an old sadness sweep over her. "I remember that feeling," she said softly. "For me, it was medicine."

Deanna was surprised to see the sheen of tears in her friend's eyes, and how they were mirrored in Marie's. It was a pain they shared.

"You understand then," Marie said quickly, offering Beverly a short embrace before she made her way back to the kitchen.

True to his word, the captain came in the door just before dinner was served. He held a bottle of wine in his hand, and looked around the room awkwardly. "In honor of our new guest," he said formally as he offered the bottle to Beverly, and lead the way into the dining room. Marie was carrying a tray of vegetables into the room as the Beverly sat down.

"These are all from our garden. I hope you enjoy them," Marie said, setting down the last tray of food and stepping off towards the front door.

Jean-Luc watched her step past him, utterly confused. "You're not joining us then?"

While Beverly had followed Jean-Luc into the dining room, Deanna had lingered behind near the door and now stood wrapping her own coat around her and offering Marie one as well.

"Not this evening," Marie said simply. "I have some plans to see my friend Marta in town."

"Deanna?" he called, hoping her didn't sound as desperate, or as angry as he suddenly felt.

"Yes, Captain?" she answered calmly, unruffled by his clear shift in emotion.

Beverly looked from Jean-Luc across from her, then to the two women hovering in the door bundling up to leave, Deanna quickly pulling a scarf around her neck. Beverly glared at them both. This was as much as of a set up as her early arrival had been. "Deanna," she called to her friend in a fierce whisper.

"And where is it you're off to, Counselor?" the captain asked insistently.

Deanna only smiled innocently. "Remember? I told you Data was arriving this evening."

"But," he called out to them. "The food…"

"Oh, don't you worry about me. You both go ahead." Deanna told them, trying to sound casual.

"We'd be happy to wait for your return," the captain said, rising from his own chair.

"No!" Marie and Deanna called together, then realizing that they were being too obvious, they tried again.

"I mean…" Marie began again, softer, "I wouldn't want the food to go to waste."

"Yes, and I don't know how long I'll be. Geordi told me how Data has been trying to integrate his emotions into his programming more slowly. I was hoping to take this opportunity to talk with him. We could be hours." She looked back and forth between the captain and Beverly Crusher. Both looked as if they were about to throw something at her. "You don't mind, do you?" she asked, hoping she sounded innocent. She knew them both well enough to predict their responses.

"No," Beverly said, though her voice was higher than its usual range.

"No, of course not," the captain echoed, looking across the table now, at his single dinner companion.

"Good," Deanna declared. "Don't wait up!" And with that, the two scheming women hurried out the door.

"Well, they'll either make up, or kill one another," Marie offered as they walked away from the house into the growing darkness.

"Or I'll come back to find my things waiting for me on the front porch," Deanna moaned.

"He'd never do that, dear. He adores you too much."

"Well, I think I may have pushed the envelope on that today," Deanna said worriedly.

"Give them some time," Marie urged. "Enough time and wine and it will all be ironed out by morning."

….

Deanna had wasted some time in town as evening fell. The truth was that Data was not to be in for almost another two hours, though no one knew that, but her. The wind was picking up as she waited near the transporter pads after she had eaten a bit of dinner in a small café in town.

When the transporter beam died away, there were three people standing in front of her, but her friend was easy to spot.

"Data!" Deanna called. She practically ran to him.

"Counselor," Data said calmly, "I was not expecting you to meet me here. I hope my timing was not inconvenient."

"Data," Deanna told him, wrapping her arm around his. "Your timing could not have been more perfect."

….

At first the house had fallen into utter silence the moment the front door had closed behind Marie and Deanna. Beverly Crusher and Jean-Luc Picard had slowly returned to their chairs and for a moment, the sounds of silence were overwhelming.

"Well…uh," Jean-Luc stammered, looking around him.

Beverly decided to steer toward the neutral. "It all looks delicious," she said pointing to the food in the center of the table. "I feel bad for Marie going to all this effort, when she wasn't even going to eat it."

"Effort," Jean-Luc mumbled under his breath, letting his anger rise at the two scheming women for a moment.

"What was that?" Beverly asked lightly.

"Nothing," the captain said, with a shake of his head. "Here, let me serve you."

For a while the sounds of silence were disguised as the two of them ate, occasionally complimenting the food as they went.

"Oh this really is delicious," Beverly commented. "What do you call this?"

"Steak Au Poivre," he told her, simply. He offered to refill her glass of wine, but Beverly shook her head.

"Jean-Luc," she said quietly. She couldn't bear it anymore.

He settled back in his chair and sighed. For a long moment the two of them sat watching the other closely, trying to determine where to go from here.

Beverly knew she would have to go first, and yet she was letting her fear get the better of her again. "I've missed you, Jean-Luc," she finally managed.

"I don't see how that could be so," he brushed her sincerity aside. "You seem to have been keeping yourself busy enough," he told her, as he busied himself with other things to keep from having to watch her.

Beverly's hair spilt over her shoulder as she shook her head at him solemnly. This was her chance. She didn't know when another might come. "Jean-Luc," she quietly chastised him.

Something in her voice pulled at his sad heart. He looked up into her soft, pleading eyes, and he knew she had already won the battle. He let out a long sigh before he answered her. "Forgive me, Beverly," he said quietly, still not quite able to look at her while he said it. "I made a mess of things…"

"No, Jean-Luc. I…I did everything all wrong."

"I thought you were still angry with me," he said, almost shyly.

"I was, or I thought I was. I think I was more angry at myself." Beverly waited until she had his full attention. "I never meant to hurt you, Jean-Luc. I never really even wanted to push you away. These last few months without you to talk to…they've been miserable for me. I've just been too proud to show it," she confessed.

"You didn't seem miserable," he offered. "Dr. Monroe…"

Beverly put up her hand for the captain to stop. "I'm not talking about Gordon Monroe. He has nothing to do with any part of this. He's…" the word 'friend' seemed hollow. "I'm talking about you, me…us," she finally stammered. "I miss you, Jean-Luc. Can't we go back to the way things were?" she pleaded.

Jean-Luc Picard looked away again. There had been a time, several months ago, when he had been willing to risk all of what they had for the something more he wanted, and it had backfired into a horrible mess. Would what they had be good enough, he wondered. What he knew for sure was that it was certainly better than what they had now.

"I've missed you as well," he finally answered her. "I'm glad that you're here."

Beverly cautiously smiled at her host and almost cried for joy when he smiled in return. "Oh, tell me everything I've missed," she urged him. "It's been months. Are you a true vinter now?"

"Oh, no," he said with a sigh. "I putter, that's all."

"And what have you been doing to occupy yourself? Other than apparently inviting in houseguests," she said, gesturing to the place that would have been Deanna's at dinner.

Jean-Luc immediately fell silent. "I am sorry about that," he told her. "I should have told you the moment you called. It's just…I knew how it would sound…"

"And yet, you invited her anyway."

Jean-Luc paused and considered the question. "Yes. And I'd do it again. Truth be told, perhaps other than this evening…I've enjoyed her being here. I… I was also lonely, maybe needed a friend."

"She's a good friend," Beverly admitted.

"Yes, she is," he agreed sipping a bit of his wine and gesturing to Beverly across the table. "Good enough to not be afraid of meddling, apparently."

Beverly smiled back at him and raised her almost empty glass. "To meddling friends," she offered, and he smiled and toasted in return.

….

The group of former Enterprise officers sat gathered at a table at the café in town the next morning for breakfast. Deanna had been happy to see no blood in the home when she finally brought Data in late that night. In fact she'd been even happier to find the captain in his study, happily reading, with an extra glass of wine left on the table next to him. Beverly had already gone to bed.

"Am I allowed to come back?" Deanna asked hopefully as she stood in the doorway.

The captain had only shaken his head. "You never listen, do you?" he asked.

"I do listen," Deanna protested. "It's just that some forms of communication are louder than words," she shrugged innocently.

"Yes, well…" the captain began, clearing his throat. "I'll have to work on that." With that he had turned his attention to Data and welcomed him to his home. But Deanna noticed that the tension between her two dear friends had dissipated by morning. They even strolled together into town and sat next to each other at breakfast.

They were waiting together for Geordi. He should have already arrived, but since he had not, they passed the time, chatting with one another as they sipped on coffee and hot chocolates.

"Geordi!" Beverly gasped a few minutes later, and was up and on her way towards him.

He was making his way into town, but his sleeve was torn a bit and his uniform was covered in mud.

"What happened to you?" the captain asked as Geordi and the doctor approached the table. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Just a little scraped up is all."

"Did you fall?" Data asked his friend.

"Dove is more like it. I was heading towards the shuttle station at headquarters a bit ago and who comes walking out the door, right at me?"

"Will," Deanna sighed.

"He hadn't seen me and I didn't want to ruin the surprise so I just dodged off the path, but off the path meant right into a rhododendron bush and then I slipped in the mud," he said, sounding a bit frustrated. "I couldn't see the slope," he said, brushing at the mud on his clothing.

"Will wasn't supposed to arrive for another few hours," the captain said, confused.

"Well, he's here early," Geordi informed them.

"And if he's there early…" Beverly began.

"He'll be here early!" Deanna called, leaping from her place at the table. She still had so much to do, and he could be there any minute.

"You have a pretty good scrape on your head," Beverly told him, looking him over. "Jean-Luc, I didn't bring a med kit. Do you have anything at the house?"

The captain nodded. "Yes, of course. Let me take your bag," he offered to Geordi, "and let's get out of here before we ruin everything."

The group made their way back up to the house and they all sprinted to work. Deanna and Marie worked in the kitchen while Beverly patched up Geordi, as she listed again the virtues of prosthetic eye implants, and Data and the captain went about readying the house, all while they kept an eye on the long narrow walk that lead to town.

….

Will Riker made his way through the quaint little town, his bag over his shoulder. He didn't know what he was looking for, exactly, as he studied the surrounding shops. Maybe it was for some clue what he was doing here, some reason for the rather bizarre invitation. But there were no answers in sight as he continued off towards the vineyard owned by the Picard family.

He was worried about his captain; that much was certain. He didn't know what it was that Captain Picard wanted to talk about, but somehow he doubted that it was good news. He rounded the bend and could see the villa at the far end of the path. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary, he thought as he proceeded towards the front door. But he didn't make it all the way to the entrance before the captain found him.

"Number One!" he called as he came towards him from the side of the house. "I wasn't expecting you so early! Come in, come in," he urged.

"We got in a little ahead of schedule," Will told him, looking for some sign of distress in the captain's manner. He didn't see any. "How are you, Sir?" he asked tentatively.

"I'm fine. Well, thank you. And you, Number One? You certainly have been busy."

Will shrugged a bit. "Well, at least in perpetual motion," he admitted.

"And how long will you be on Earth?" the captain asked.

"Only four days," Will answered, still keeping a close eye on the man standing next to him.

"And do you think you'll manage to make your way home in that amount of time?"

Will shook his head, either at the question or at the vague small talk that was taking place between them. It was unlike Captain Picard. "Not this time," he finally answered. "Maybe I'll get the chance over the next few months. I'm supposed to be back a few more times before…" Will hesitated. Before what? Before the Enterprise E was ready to depart on her maiden voyage? Before he took his own command? He didn't know the answer. "Before too long," he finished, dully. He hadn't covered very well for himself and it left an awkward silence between them.

"Well, come in," the captain said after a moment, again ushering him towards the door.

Will noticed that he seemed happy enough, well enough, and it only confused him more. "Sir," he said stopping near the porch stairs. "It's not that I'm not happy to be here. I am. But may I ask what it is that you needed to talk to me about that was so important?"

Jean-Luc Picard paused halfway between where Will stood and the door. He seemed to almost nod, and then he turned back to his former first officer, with a small grin on his face. "Well, it wasn't so much what _I _needed to talk to you about, actually. It was more of a _we."_

"We?" Will asked confused. But before he could ask the question on the tip of his tongue he was startled by something he saw out of the corner of his eye, a streak of something running towards him, and entirely on instinct he reached out to catch whatever it was_. Whoever_ it was, he realized as she flew into his arms. "What the…" but before he could finish, the familiarity of her washed over him, the dark curls around his cheek and the smell of her. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, but he slowly pulled away enough that he could see her face. He was stunned, and Deanna seemed to find that funny. "Deanna? What the hell are your doing here?" he almost cried for joy and scooped her back up into his arms and swung her around on the front stoop.

She laughed in his arms, until he replaced her on the ground. "Surprise!" she said softly.

"Surprise?" He looked back to his captain who stood leaning against his home, smiling at them, and then back to Deanna's beaming face. Stunned may have been the more appropriate word. He couldn't stop staring at her. Oh, how he'd missed her. How he wanted to hug her even tighter than he was already. He stood on the stoop, dazed, as if it may have all been some sort of a mirage, a desperate fantasy of a lonely man, as if, if he let her go she may vanish. So he kept his tight hold on her. "I…I'm surprised," he admitted, fumbling over his words.

He was thoroughly confused. He didn't know what he was doing there, much less why Deanna was there. He had all sorts of questions popping into his head, but he couldn't seem to form any of them into a coherent sentence. "Oh, my god. Deanna!" he said, giving up and scooping her back into his arms.

He heard the soft sound of her laugh against his shoulder as she hugged him tightly. She seemed to be radiating with joy, almost glowing. He couldn't get enough of her, and the only thing better than the sight of her was the feel of her in his arms.

Deanna leaned away from him slightly and drank in the sight of him. "I missed you," she almost sighed. She stretched up onto her tippy toes and leaned toward him.

Will knew perfectly well that she was intending to kiss his cheek. He also knew that their captain was standing just behind him, but in that moment, he didn't have it in him to care. He couldn't stop himself, and in an instant he moved his head and captured her lips with his own. Her lips seemed to taste sweet, almost like a frosting, and they were as soft as anything he'd ever touched. For a moment, he felt Deanna melt against him, but it was just for a moment, before she caught herself and pulled away.

He vaguely heard the sound of footsteps nearby, even the slight clearing of someone's throat, but it was nothing that could take his attention away from the woman in his arms.

"You know, I'm beginning to wonder if we're really needed for this party," he heard a familiar voice say.

"Forget needed," a woman answered. "I'm not sure we're wanted!"

Deanna hung her head for a moment. Will could see the embarrassed flush of her cheeks before she sheepishly glanced back at the others.

Will took a step back, realizing that he had made her self-conscious. It hadn't been his intention. But he also hadn't realized that their audience had been quite so numerous. He followed Deanna's gaze and found Geordi Laforge, Beverly Crusher and Data all standing together by the door. He didn't know what to make of it. He stood there and shook his head, trying to regain his footing; either from the surprise of his company or the slightly spiny feeling that kissing her had brought over him.

"I think we interrupted," Beverly whispered to Geordi, and the rest of the group began to laugh nervously.

"Geordi!" Will reached out to greet his friend, regretfully letting Deanna slip out of his arms. He greeted each of them, "Data! Beverly!" he hugged her and kissed her cheek. Then he took a step back to get a look, for the first time of the group of them gathered together on the porch. "What is going on here?" he finally asked.

"Surprise!" the rest of them called.

"What?"

Deanna stepped up to him and shook his head lightly by the chin. "It's your birthday, you idiot!" she told him laughing a bit shyly.

Will sighed. "I know that," he mumbled, not any less confused. "But what are you all doing here?"

"It's a party!" Beverly cried and the rest of them laughed again, seeming to find his confusion increasingly humorous.

"For me?" He asked. "We're having a party?" he asked Deanna, then turned to the captain. "Here? For me?"

"Don't look at me," the captain protested. "I had very little to do with it." He pointed back to Deanna, who had managed to wiggle her way back up to his side, her hand around his waist. "Happy Birthday, Imzadi," she whispered, this time managing to kiss his cheek lightly.

"Happy Birthday, Commander," Data echoed.

"I can't believe it," Will muttered.

"What? That you're another year older?" Beverly teased, hugging him again.

"That you're all here!" he cried. "This…" he looked back and forth between the captain and his friends and Deanna. "This is the best birthday present, ever."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Did you think I had fallen off the face of the earth? Not quite. Life got the better of me for a bit, including trying to hack off a large chunk on my index finger while cutting up some fruit. That made typing rather difficult for a while and then I was sick and then work... Okay, enough excuses. I finished your story for you! Yep. It's all done. The last chapter is being edited (soon) and then this too will be a complete story. Yeah me! It's been so long. Do you even remember the basic plot? I hope so. And I hope you like it. Here goes!

**Chapter 5:**

"I can't believe you did all this!" Will stammered as he looked around the dining room where the table was stacked with food and treats.

"There's a birthday cake too," Deanna told him smiling.

Beverly Crusher stood in the doorway behind the two of them, carefully watching their interactions. Will had his arm around Deanna, as if he was afraid she might run away if he let her go. He still looked fairly stunned, but Deanna was beaming. Beverly marveled watching them. They seemed to show their affection for one another so easily. It seemed so natural, like they were drawn to each other. She wondered how they did it; let themselves show such affection, making it look effortless, and yet whenever Jean-Luc and Beverly tried it, they seemed to trip over themselves.

"You did this all by yourself?" Will asked her.

"Well…"

"Yes," Marie broke in and answered for her. "She did it all herself." Marie turned to Deanna, wiping her hands on her apron and gave her a quick wink.

Will chuckled a bit under his breath before hugging Deanna to him again and kissing her head. "You're amazing," he whispered to her.

Beverly turned away and saw Geordi shaking his head at the two of them as he and Data stood watching from the study.

"Oh, I think I want to change rooms," Beverly whispered quietly to Jean-Luc who stood nearby.

"Why?"

"I'm across from Deanna's," she reminded him.

"Oh, well, I put Will across from me. Maybe the two of you ought to trade," he suggested. "It would give them a whole wing to do what they want in relative privacy."

Beverly looked back at him skeptically. "Well, that may not be the best option. That would put me across from you," she reminded him. The two froze, staring at one another, trying to weigh the alternatives.

"Quite right," the captain admitted.

Deanna seemed to appear out of nowhere, and took both Beverly and Jean-Luc by the arm. "There will be no room trading," she whispered to the two of them. "I picked the rooms for a reason," she admitted. Having her friends around her was certainly an added incentive for her to stick with her own commitments. There was nothing like four chaperones in the rooms nearby to keep her from making a decision she might regret.

Deanna gave a smile and nod to them each before letting them go and walking on into the study where Geordi and Data were waiting with Will Riker following behind.

For a while, the group settled in, talking and laughing, catching up with what they had each been doing for the last six months.

"Wait till you see her, Captain," Geordi told him, telling him everything he knew about the new Enterprise. "She's gorgeous."

"How are the engines coming?" Will asked. "The Columbia has been running on these Soyue engines for five months now, and it seems like there are still quite a few bugs to work out."

"They have their fair share of kinks still," Geordi admitted. "Trust me, Sir. I've seen every engine report you've submitted. We're working out the glitches as fast as we can. By the time the ship's ready, they should be seamless."

"Well, it's good to know the work I'm doing is good for something," Will said with a sigh.

"That's why they're keeping you close to home, right?" Geordi asked him.

"Oh? Is that it? I thought it was so I could boot out the officers that somehow managed to graduate from the academy and yet are completely unqualified to serve."

Jean-Luc Picard tried not to laugh. "You've had a rough go at it then?" he asked his former first officer.

Will shook his head and began to laugh. "I think they're punishing me," he admitted.

"Punishing you? Why? What have you done?"

"Other than crash land the flagship of the federation," Beverly added quickly.

"And turned down, what? Four commands? Or was it five?" Deanna added.

"Oh, no. I don't need the two of you ganging up on me again," Will protested, sinking into a seat next to Deanna on the couch.

"When have we ever ganged up on you?" Beverly asked incredulously.

"When haven't the two of you ganged up on me? The last time, I recall, had me submitting to a medical exam that ought to do me for another five years, at least!"

Beverly tried to bite back her smile, and Deanna tried to look contrite.

"What was this?" the captain asked from his overstuffed chair, intrigued.

"They didn't tell you?" Will asked, then launched into the story of their little prank. Geordi and the captain were laughing unrepentantly by the end. Even Deanna and Beverly snickered at their own wickedness.

Only Data sat, looking puzzled.

Deanna tried to stop smirking. "Data, what is it?" she asked, looking over at his furrowed brow.

"I am afraid that I still struggle to understand some aspects of humor," he admitted.

"That's because it wasn't funny," Will said determinedly, but even he cracked a smile. He leaned over and patted his android friend on the back. "Don't worry about it, Data. They were just trying to take me down a notch or two."

"Why?" Data asked puzzled.

"His first few days with his own command? We thought he could use a little humbling," Beverly told him.

Will burst into laughter. "A _little_ humbling? I hate to think of what _a lot_ of humbling would have involved!"

They went on talking and laughing for another hour or so, before the men grew a bit restless and began to follow the captain around the grounds, the women in tow. They strolled through the vineyards continuing to talk about their last few months adventured, as well as old stories from years before.

"What is this?" Geordi asked as he came around the side of a small outbuilding. There were some bails of hay set up with targets on them several meters away and what appeared to be an isle of sorts was fenced in with more bails of hay.

"Oh, archery. It was apparently a hobby of René's," the captain said quietly.

"Those targets look fresh, Sir," Will pointed out.

The captain looked around a bit awkwardly. "I…ah… I've given it a bit of a try," he admitted.

The group erupted in a quiet chorus of 'ohhs', almost as a bit of a challenge. The captain shook his head. "Feel free," he told them.

"Come on, Captain," Will urged. "Show us your best shot."

Jean-Luc Picard walked towards the outbuilding and retrieved a bow and some arrows. "You first," he said tossing the bow to Will.

Will gave a small shrug and began to set up for his shot.

"Come on, birthday boy," Beverly called to him.

Will was finally ready and took his best shot. The arrow sailed from the bow and landed firmly in the hay bail, just off the small target.

"Not bad for a first shot," the captain commented.

But Will shook his head with disgust. "Uh uh, let's try that again," he told them all. He took another shot, this time landing much closer to the desired location, and the group cheered. Will smiled smugly, then offered the bow to the captain. "You're up," he told him.

The captain grimaced a bit, but took the bow anyway. He aimed quickly and the arrow gracefully flew through the air, brushing just past where Will's arrow remained, slightly closer to the center.

"You got me, Sir," Will conceded.

Jean-Luc shrugged. "I may have had a bit more practice," he admitted. Then he turned to the others. "Come on," he urged them. "Who's next?"

"Come on, Deanna. Give it a go," Will urged, pushing her forward.

"Oh, no," Deanna protested heavily. "The last time I tried that, I shot Data."

"You have been forgiven, Counselor," Data told her matter of factly. "But if you are planning on shooting, I would appreciate if you gave me enough warning that I might seek out appropriate cover."

The rest of the group burst into laughter, except Deanna, who simply hung her head in embarrassment.

Will leaned over and patted his friend's shoulder again. "I think you get humor just fine, Data," he assured him with a laugh.

"Alright, Geordi," the captain offered.

Geordi reluctantly agreed and after a few shots, he was hitting the target as well. "Worf would be appalled," he muttered quietly as he handed the bow off to Beverly, and she laughed.

The group of them stood together laughing in the corner of the vineyard as the sun sloped towards the horizon. They had laughed most of the day away, all while doing mostly nothing.

Marie Picard had cooked a lovely dinner, but when the time came to serve it, the guests were nowhere in sight. She wandered out into the gardens near the home, but found no sign of them. Wrapping her shawl closer around her, she started out along the meandering paths that surrounded the boarders of the vineyard. Before too long, she heard the laughing and jeering coming from the group. They sounded as if they may be cheering on some sort of sporting event.

The sky was fading to soft grays and purples by the time Marie found the group of them laughing together around the makeshift archery range that her son had made the year before. She felt like a bit of a spoilsport, or a mother hen, calling for them to come in from the falling evening. "Supper is on the table," she urged them from where she stood, just up the sloping hill from the group. "A special supper for the birthday boy."

Will smiled as he approached her. "Thank you so much, Marie. You are doing too much, really. Come on," he insisted tugging her towards the group. "Join us."

"Oh, no," Marie objected with a laugh and a shake of her head.

"Oh, yes," her brother in law disagreed. "I must insist."

"Jean-Luc Picard, what has gotten into you?" Marie insisted.

"We'll come in to eat when you take a shot. Just one. It would do you good."

"I can't see how shooting an arrow at a harmless bale of hay could possibly do anyone any good. I don't have time for such idle nonsense," Marie quipped at them.

"Oh, come now, Marie. You can't let the boys beat us!" Beverly pleaded. "You can't do worse than Deanna."

Deanna just sighed and shook her head.

"Yeah, come on. Give it a shot," Geordi urged.

"And fast. Whatever that smell is, it has my mouth watering," Will chided her on.

"Come on," they called to her. "You can do it."

"Oh, for heaven's sake," Marie seemed exasperated as she grabbed the bow from her brother in law and let an arrow fly with no more than a brief pause to aim. The arrow flew in utter silence, slicing by the other nine that sat around the target, even grazing the arrow Data had fired moments before and pierced the target, perfectly centered in the bull's eye.

The group fell into a stunned silence.

Marie dropped the bow back onto the nearest hay bale and straightened her skirt. "Now, may we eat?" she asked the others who were watching her as if she had suddenly grown wings and a tail.

The group studied her for a moment longer. "Right," Will finally broke the silence of the growing night. "Dinner."

"Yes," the captain answered as well, still studying his sister in law with rapt fascination.

"What?" Marie asked exasperated as she turned and began to walk up the path to the house.

Her brother in law trotted after her quickly. "I don't know if you've heard, but I have an opening for a tactical officer…" his voice trailed off as he and the rest of the group moved on.

Will heard Marie burst into a hearty laugh before he pulled Deanna by the elbow, just off the path.

"Hi," she smiled at him, looking a bit surprised by his actions.

"Hi," he replied simply.

Something about her seemed suddenly nervous. "I thought you wanted to eat," she said, glancing up to where the others continued up the path.

"I do," he replied. "But before we're in a room full of people again, I was wondering if I get to know what you're doing here."

Deanna laughed. "What do you mean? We're here for the party."

"That's it? You're okay? The captain… he's okay?"

"Will, we're all fine. You worry too much."

"And all this? What's this about?"

"There's no hidden agenda, Will. We just wanted to see each other, and you provided a perfect excuse," she offered with a playful smile. "Come on, the others will be waiting."

Deanna moved to step away from him, but he pulled her back by her elbow. "Would I be fairly safe in assuming that at some point in the next, say 24 hours, I may be able to spend a bit more alone time with you than I got on the front step?" he asked hopefully.

Deanna's face scrunched up as if she were considering the question. "I think we might be able to arrange something," she offered. "At least for a bit," she added, reining him in.

"I'll take it," he conceded. He led the way back to the path. "Come on, I'm starved."

….

"To a man who has never let his age dictate his behavior… Happy birthday, Number One," the captain toasted as they began to eat.

"I'm not sure that was a compliment," Will puzzled at the man at the head of the table.

The captain only chuckled as he sat back down. "Take it however you'd like," he urged him, and the group laughed again.

As the dinner went on the group drank their way through the first bottle of wine and then another. When they moved to the study, they brought two more with them and before too long they were opening the last of the bottles Jean-Luc had brought in from the wine cellars. The mood was a bit of a relaxed buzz of activity. There were no responsibilities to worry about, no duty to something greater than themselves. For the first time in they didn't know how long, they were simply enjoying one another's company.

After dinner, Deanna and Marie had brought out the cake Deanna had baked, lit up with candles clear around the edge. The group sang, even the captain, and Will blew out his candles. As they ate, Will happily opened his presents.

Geordi and Data had given him a mute for his trombone. Beverly gave him a boomerang, a souvenir from her time in Australia. "Don't throw it unless you really have room for it," she'd warned him.

"But how do you get it back?" he asked, looking at the wooden shape quizzically.

"Well, I've yet to make it work," she admitted sheepishly. "But I am told that it's all in the wrist."

Will picked up the captain's gift and sighed. "A book," he told him. "I'm shocked." The rest of the group laughed as Will unwrapped it. He read the cover of the book slowly. "Histoire de ma vie…"

"Story of My Life," the captain offered a translation.

"By Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt?" Will concluded. "Casanova?"

"Don't worry Number One, the text is in English."

"Casanova?" he asked incredulously.

The rest of the group began to chuckle. "Deanna helped me pick it out while we were in Paris. She seemed to think it would be an interesting read for you."

"Did she?" Will asked before leaning closer to the woman next to him. "You were in Paris with the captain?" he asked with honest curiosity.

"Long story. I'll tell you later," Deanna dismissed him quickly, hurrying off to get another piece of cake.

The captain had brought the poker chips out as they finished up the cake and wine. The first game had been slow and painful and in the end, had gone to the captain. Will had claimed it was a home court advantage, but Data quickly pointed out the factual inaccuracies of the analogy.

"I'll see your 10 and raise you 50," Will said to Beverly, several hands later, tossing his chips onto their makeshift poker table in the captain's study. He turned to Geordi next to him.

"Nah, I just don't have it tonight," Geordi told them looking at his cards. "Too rich for my blood. I'm out."

"Deanna?" Beverly asked as Geordi got up from his place at the table and made his way over to where the captain and Data stood discussing some of the books in the vineyard's collection.

"You out, too?" Will asked Deanna. "You know you can't beat me…"

Deanna only scowled. "Alright, sixty, and I'll raise you…" Deanna thumbed through her chips, pensively. "Two hundred."

The room's attention was suddenly entirely on Deanna at the table.

"Uh, oh. Someone is in trouble," Geordi urged.

"So much for a friendly game of poker," Will chided her, counting his own chips.

Beverly just sighed.

"In or out Doctor?" Will asked.

"Oh, for heaven's sakes. I'm in," she decided, tossing her chips onto the table.

"Commander?" Deanna almost sang innocently. The game's pot had slowly been growing and growing for some time, until there were just the three of them left and Deanna had seen to it to up the stakes considerably.

Will looked from his cards to the two women at the table with him. He did his best to read their faces.

"Come on Will. In or out?" Beverly rushed him.

"Don't dig a hole so tall you can't climb out of it," he said warningly to Deanna.

"I haven't yet," Deanna replied coolly.

"Two hundred, and raise you a hundred more."

"Your one hundred, and two hundred more."

Beverly threw her cards down on the table. "You two are insane," she told them.

"Oh, chicken. She's just playing the game," Will muttered, but his eyes never parted from Deanna's. Beverly couldn't tell if this was cut throat poker, or flirting.

"Which is more than I can say for you," Deanna said with a purposeful nod towards Will's chips.

"Oh, yes. Come on Commander." Beverly urged playfully.

Will looked from the pot in the center of the table to the chips in front of him and then back to his cards.

"She's bluffing," he finally mumbled, but still didn't move any chips.

"Come on Commander. Put your money where your mouth is," Beverly chided him, now from the sidelines.

"Three hundred," Will tossed in his chips. "Call."

"You first," she said shyly. "It is _your special_ day."

Will almost laughed. "Two pair, Kings over Jacks. How's that hole lookin' now, my friend?"

"More like a puddle," Deanna replied smugly. "Royal Flush." She fanned out her cards in front of her on the table and listened to the group gasp.

"No way! You took two cards!" Will protested.

"Cry baby," Deanna muttered, through her smile as she stood up from her seat to gather her winnings.

"Well, yeah. It's my birthday. Aren't you supposed to let me win?"

"I suppose I could let you win as a birthday present, but it wasn't what I had in mind. If you'd like me to exchange my gift for a winning hand at poker,… I suppose that can be arranged." Deanna wiggled her eyebrows at him.

"I still haven't gotten a gift from you," he teased.

"I intended to give it to you in private," she whispered suggestively. "But if you'd rather win the next hand…"

"No. I'm good," he decided, and hastily pushed the remaining chips towards her, much to the group's amusement.

Deanna sat out the next hand, taking the chance to slip away; up to her room where she took the present she had prepared from her closet, and grabbed a wrap to try to keep herself warm. The storm from the previous day had passed, but the evenings were still chilly. She didn't worry too much about the cold. She had a plan and she knew how she could keep warm out and about the vineyard at night.

She could hear the others laughing as she descended the stairs. They were gathered around the table edging one another on as they played another round.

"Hey there beautiful," Will called to her. He looked at the shawl wrapped around her and his face fell. "Are you going somewhere?" he asked, standing from his place and approaching her.

Deanna smiled at him. "No. Not without you. Aren't you playing?" she asked pointing to the table.

Will shrugged. "I folded. I had nothin'."

"Oh, well in that case…" Deanna tried to seem casual in her invitation, "want to walk with me for a bit?"

"Walk…?"

"Around the vineyard."

"In the middle of the night?" Will asked her, puzzled.

"It's not that late. I thought it would be nice."

"Are you sure?" he asked her glancing at her shawl. "It's the middle of winter."

"Don't worry. I have a plan." Deanna smiled peacefully at him.

"We couldn't just stay here, by the fire?"

"Not if you want to be alone," she whispered quietly to him. "Come on. I still need to give you your present."

Will wiggled his eyebrows at Deanna mildly. "I'll get my coat," he said and headed off.

"Are you skipping out on us?" Beverly called to Deanna from the table.

"Just getting some air," Deanna offered, trying not to draw unnecessary attention.

"With Will," Beverly added.

When Will headed back from his room, Geordi wasn't about to let him slip by without a comment. "Where you going, Commander?" he called after him casually.

"I…ah… just taking a walk," he called back to the table.

"Deanna's giving you her birthday present?" Beverly called. That was enough to send a slightly alcoholically mellow group into stifled chuckles.

"Ahh…" Will stumbled over a response. "We'll be back," he told them as he reached for Deanna's hand, and made his way to the door.

"We won't wait up!" Beverly called after the two of them, as the rest of the group howled.

Just as the pair stepped out the door, a distinct whistle howled through the air. Deanna shook her head, but Will paused his step. "Was that Data?" he asked her. Before she could even answer, he stepped back through the doorway peeking his head into the house and called out to his friend. "Data! Well Done!"

"Thank you, Sir," Data called amidst the hoots and laughter of the room.

Will chuckled a bit himself, until he saw the furious look on Deanna's face. "His whistling. It's much improved," he tired to explain.

"That was a cat call," Deanna told him indignantly. "He cat called me and you tell him 'well done'?"

"His whistling!" Will tried again but Deanna just rolled her eyes and walked off into the night.

"What?" the group heard Will call after her and burst into laughter again.

"I hope he likes his present," Geordi chuckled.

"I hope I'm _sound _asleep before they get back," Beverly added.

"I believe I have some earplugs somewhere," the captain offered quietly before returning his attention to the cards in his hand. "The bet is yours, Data."

….

Will followed Deanna off the porch and out into the darkened grounds of the vineyard. "Oh, come on. Don't be mad at me," he called after her.

Deanna turned back to him, with a tired smile. "I only have a day with you. I don't have time to be mad."

"It was kind of funny…" Will said with a smile, hoping she would concede.

Deanna rolled her eyes in return, but Will couldn't help but notice that there was a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"So we're just planning on strolling in the dark here?" Will asked as he followed her further from the lights of the home towards the vines that sloped along the rolling hills.

"Not in the dark," she added without slowing her step.

"Did you bring a lantern or something?"

Deanna spun around to face him again, shaking her head. "Just trust me, would you?"

"A woman with a plan, huh?"

She smiled knowingly at him, then dashed a step or two further down the path, causing a light along the path to activate, illuminating the area nearby.

"Hey, hey!" Will cried. "You _do_ have a plan."

"You sound surprised," Deanna mocked. "There are lights all along the paths. They're motion activated."

"Well, you clearly know your way around here, better than I would expect…" Will left the sentence lingering in the air, hoping Deanna might offer an explanation, but she didn't seem in a hurry to provide him with any information, so he thought he'd try again.

"You were in Paris with the captain? When was that?" he asked as they strolled along the path.

"Last week," Deanna answered simply.

"A little rendezvous?" he asked, hoping he sounded like he was teasing her.

Deanna wasn't fooled. She sensed the change in his emotions, even as he tried to fight them down. There was a sting of jealousy, but that wasn't what troubled her. It was the nagging uncertainty. She reached over and took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together, hoping to reassure him. "I'd never been to Paris before. Captain Picard wanted me to see it," she began. "Will," she said turning to him more seriously. "I've been here about two weeks. And I'm staying another few days before I head back to San Francisco. Then I will head back to Betazed to teach one more term at the university before the launch of the new ship."

"Two weeks?" he asked quietly.

"Does that bother you?" she asked, though she could tell that it did.

"I…no, I guess not." But Deanna looked at him with that look, that 'I know you better than that' look. "Should it?" he asked her.

"No." She stepped a bit closer to him and put her arms around his waist. "It shouldn't."

"So… what have you been doing here for two weeks?" he asked curiously, wrapping her in his arms.

Deanna could sense his relief and it made her smile. "I learned to cook all sorts of things. Marie has been so generous. And the captain and I have talked a lot, and walked a lot. He took me to Paris." She looked up at him, and paused. "I went to see my father's family in Greece."

Will's face showed his surprise. "Really? How did that go?"

Deanna scrunched her face in thought. "Hmmm, well… a bit rough, at first. But I'm going to keep working at it. They are having a family party the day after tomorrow so I can meet more of my relatives."

"Did you see your grandmother?"

Deanna sighed and leaned her head against his warm chest. "I did," she mumbled quietly, sounding a bit downtrodden.

"Uh oh."

"It's alright. It'll go better this next time. I'm convinced of it," she said with a new determination. "I've learned how to make some Greek foods. I should get some sort of credit for that, don't you think?"

"I'm going to venture a guess that it doesn't matter much what I think," he said with a chuckle. He wrapped her tighter in his arms, enjoying the feel of her. "I'm really proud of you. I bet that was hard." Deanna shook her head against him. "You cold?" he asked her, rubbing her back gently.

"Not right here with you," she whispered.

"We can go back inside. I don't want you to freeze."

"I have no intention of freezing," Deanna said with a grin. "Come on," she said and stepped away, dashing off the path and into the rows of vines.

"What are you doing?" he called as he followed her. The light left misty shadows between the rows of grapevines and Deanna stood mischievously swaying slightly in the semi darkness. If it was a game of chase, he was willing. With two large strides he caught her around the waist and pulled her to him. "Hi," he whispered, smiling down at her.

"Hi," she answered.

"Want to try that greeting from earlier again?"

Deanna laughed softly at his excitement. It made her almost as giddy. She nodded coyly at him, and it was all the encouragement that he needed. His hands weaved through her hair as he moved towards her, almost tentatively at first, before kissing her like she had been thinking about all day. All thoughts of whatever else she had planned for their stroll were gone the moment his lips touched hers. She had missed him so much; she just wanted to soak in the feel of him, the sense of him, everything about him. Will kissed her once more, before pulling away and sighing quietly. "Hi," he said again.

Deanna smiled happily and ran her hand along the front of his hair. "I've missed you," she whispered to him.

A soft moan escaped from him as her hand moved to caress the back of his neck. "You have no idea how much I've missed you," he told her.

"Come on," Deanna called, pulling him further along down the darkened path.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Just a few more steps…" When she reached their destination she turned to him triumphantly, and he knew instantly. There was a warm current of air flowing around them in all directions.

"What's that?" Will asked puzzled.

"They're heaters that keep any frost from damaging the vines. And the straw," she said kicking some of the ground covering up with her foot, "insulates the roots against the colder winter weather."

"Who taught you all this?" he asked.

"Why don't we not worry about that right now," she said as she slipped her arms back around him and kissed him again.

The feeling of the two of them together overwhelmed the heat of the air around them in no time at all, and Deanna's head began swimming with emotions. But before her emotions took over her better judgment, she backed away. She heard herself sigh, and it was as if her heart and her mind couldn't quite agree on a course of action. But Deanna's head won out. She was determined to protect her heart, if she could.

"I'm sorry," Will told her. He hadn't meant to push her. The sound of her sigh made him think that he had, but Deanna quickly shook her head.

"Don't be sorry. Please…" She looked pleadingly, hoping he would understand.

"Maybe we want to slow this down a bit," he admitted.

"Want?" Deanna asked with a laugh. "Maybe not want, but…"

"Should," Will told her softly in agreement, pulling her against him again and kissing her forehead. "Yeah, I know."

"Imzadi," Deanna said slowly. "Everything is just so up in the air. Nothing's sure anymore," she tried to explain.

"What in our lives has ever been sure?" he asked chuckling.

"You know what I mean."

Will's attempt to lighten the mood ceased. "I know," he told her. He didn't need more explanations. The thoughts had been running through his head since she had flown into his arms that morning. Nothing would have been more simple than to let their libidos take over and to enjoy the time together, but he couldn't stop thinking about what came next, how it had ended before, and not wanting to do that to her again. He wouldn't. And everything about his life, his career was so uncertain. "Deanna, I wish I could tell you what I was going to do, what the next few months would be like for us, but I just can't. For what it's worth, no one has asked me either."

"What do you mean no one's asked you?" Deanna asked.

"I mean no one has asked me, not a single soul at Star Fleet Headquarters has actually offered me my own command, though they've certainly made me think it was available if I wanted it. But no one has said anything for sure. And on the flip side, no one has said one word about the new ship. I don't know anything about when it's supposed to be finished or what its maiden voyage will be…"

"Neither do I," Deanna offered.

"But you at least know you're invited, right?"

Deanna looked back at his face in the shadows of the night, and scowled. "Will, you know that the captain wants his senior staff-", but Will cut her off.

"No, I don't actually. In both of our last two conversations before today he made a point to call me his 'former first officer'. Maybe he thinks I need to get out there on my own. Maybe he thinks I sent the last one careening into a planet…"

"Stop it," Deanna told him tersely. "He's upset enough about Worf leaving. He doesn't want you to go. He wants you to stay."

"But no one has told me that," Will shrugged. "I feel like I've been shoved into a little tin box and put on a track around the quadrant. I'm totally out of the loop."

Deanna didn't realize how frustrated he truly was with the current situation. She didn't know that he felt the same isolation she had while she was trapped with her mother on Betazed. She reached out for his hand and held it tightly. "I'm sorry." It was all she could offer.

The worry etched on his face seemed to melt away with her touch. He raised their entwined hands and kissed hers lightly. "Don't feel too sorry for me," he cautioned. "We'll get it worked out."

"It comes back to the same question it has always been," she told him. "What do you want, Will Riker?"

Will hung his head for a moment and sighed. "I don't know, Dea," he admitted softly. "Maybe I want it all."

"Life doesn't usually work like that," she said sadly. Deanna looked around her at the shadows cast by the vines and set off further from the house, though when she had planed the stroll in her head she hadn't imagined feeling so conflicted.

"Deanna, please," Will pleaded behind her. It felt as if she was pulling away, that he'd hurt her, and it was the last thing he's wanted to do.

Deanna turned around to face him again. She tried to smile, to comfort him. What had she really expected? She was as confused as he was. She hadn't meant for him to feel bad about it. "Come on," she offered, motioning for him to join her. "We only have a little time left. I don't want to do this right now. We don't have to do this right now."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be." Deanna took him by the hand and set off with fixed determination, perhaps more set on leaving the conversation behind than on their next destination. They strolled to the far end of the row of vines and Deanna looked around in the darkness. "Oh, good," she said as she spotted what she was looking for.

"What?" he asked puzzled.

"It was here yesterday and I just thought it would make a lovely spot…" Deanna wandered in the darkness until she reached the bed of a trailer, stacked with hay. Most of the bails had already been spread, but a few remained where the workers had left them and hay covered the rough wood of the trailer. Deanna hoped up on the edge of the bed and smiled, patting the open area next to her, motioning for Will to join her.

"This is the destination of choice?" he asked, looking at the hay suspiciously. "For what?"

"For me to give you this," she said offering him the small wrapped gift she had carried with her, tucked in her arms, wrapped tightly in her shawl.

Will pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the trailer bed next to her and studied the gift in her hand. "You didn't have to. You've done so much already."

"Will," Deanna's voice was almost stern. "Open it. "

Will shrugged his shoulders before taking the package from her, but Deanna wasn't fooled by his attempt to appear casual. He had that childlike glint in his eye. She could see it in the moonlight. It didn't take more than a moment for him to peel the wrapping away and Deanna watched him closely as he studied the gift in the moonlight.

His expression was blank, as he stared at it, his posture perfectly still. He wasn't giving her any reaction that she had expected. She was left to try to read his emotions, which were a bit of a jumble, an odd combination of happy and sad, but mostly confused. The longer he remained silent, the more apprehensive she became.

"Where did you get this?" he finally asked. His voice seemed to trail away on the light night breeze,

"Geordi brought it to me on Betazed a few months ago. He said they found it in one of the aft cargo bays that had been badly damaged. There were items strewn all over, with no way to identify most of their owners. But this," Deanna said reaching for the framed picture in his hand, "was found along with a picture of me. Geordi assumed she must have been a relative of mine. But I recognized her immediately. It was in the eyes, don't you think? She's your mother."

Will studied the picture again before he nodded silently.

"I decided to frame it for you," Deanna began again gently. "She doesn't belong shoved in a cargo container you never open. I thought if it were like this, you might be able to find a place for her picture. Maybe in your quarters… or in your ready room," she added the last phrase quietly.

Still Will sat next to her silently staring at the gift she had given him.

"Will?"

She heard him sniff softly in the night. "I thought I'd lost it. It's the only picture I have of her," he said, without looking away from the photograph. "Dad has others, but when I left home, I took this with me…"

Deanna had hoped the gift would make him happy, she hadn't expected the deep emotions she was feeling from him. She scooted closer to him and gently rested her head on his shoulder. "I didn't know," she told him softly. "If I knew you were missing it, I would have sent it to you months ago."

But Will shook his head and for the first time since seeing the picture, he smiled. "Thank you," he told her, wrapping his arms around her. "For everything. This is…" she thought she heard his voice crack with emotion, before he abandoned that thought. "Thank you," he repeated, kissing her on the top of the head.

Deanna greedily hugged him in return. "You're welcome."

For a moment they sat in silence. "So what happened to the picture of you?" he teased.

"That's mine now," she muttered. "I don't know where you got it in the first place."

"I have ways of getting what I want."

Deanna laughed whole-heartedly. "I'm sure you do, Commander," she teased, giving him a shove.

"I do!"

She pushed him again, but this time he pulled her with him, until they were lying together amidst the hay.

"If it's important enough to me," Will told her unashamed.

"Am I supposed to be flattered?"

Will smiled back at her playfully considering the question. "Yeah," he decided before pulling her close to him and kissing her.

….

The stars were shimmering brightly as the two of them made their way back up the path to the house. Deanna felt a bit ashamed of swiping the guest of honor for so long. She didn't really know how long they had been out, strolling around the grounds, enjoying one another's company, but she knew she would hear about it in the morning. As the house came into view she could see that there weren't many lights left on, and she knew they must have been gone longer than she had planned. She could feel Will walking besides her plucking at her hair and shawl.

She brushed him away. "What are you doing?' she insisted.

"Picking straw out of your hair! You don't want to walk back in there looking like we've just rolled in the hay, do you?"

Deanna made a cheeky expression. "We have been rolling in the hay," she admitted.

"Yes, but _they _don't need to know that, now do they?" he said plucking another piece of fiber from her shoulder. Deanna returned the favor brushing some stray pieces from off his shirt and trousers as well.

"I thought we agreed to stop doing that," he said moving her hand away from his pants.

"Oh," Deanna gasped at him before they started up the steps to the house, his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders.

They didn't know what to expect as they opened the door. Maybe the group would still be partying, if a bit more sedately. But what they found seemed to be a deserted house. Wrapping paper still littered the table in the dining room, the study's table was covered with stacks of poker chips, and cards, and scattered throughout the house were seemingly random used wine glasses.

"We should clean this up," Will said glancing around at the chaos that was clearly so untypical of any residence occupied by their captain. But as they stepped further into the home, they saw that they were not as alone as they thought.

Jean-Luc Picard sat silently on the large leather sofa that occupied much of one wall of the study. He seemed to be staring deeply at the large bookcases across from him. His face looked worn, sad somehow. Deanna realized it was the same look he had on his face that first day in San Francisco, as if he were lost or lacking all the purpose she was used to him possessing.

Will and Deanna looked cautiously to one another. "You go on. I'll take care of it," Deanna answered the question in his expression. Whether she was referring to the mess or to the captain he didn't know, but he nodded all the same, trusting her instincts. He leaned down and his kiss on her cheek lingered. "Good night, Deanna," he whispered.

"Good night," she said sadly, not entirely wanting to lose his company, and yet as she watched him disappear up the stairs, she knew at that moment there was another man who needed her more.

Deanna walked into the study without a word. The captain made no move to acknowledge her. She glanced at his surroundings, trying to get a sense of what had gone on in her absence. The only item to truly catch her attention was the wine glass sitting on the table to the right of the captain. There were two of them actually. Deanna assumed one was Jean-Luc's. The other bore a distinctive ring of lipstick on the edge that she had to assume was from Beverly Crusher. Had they been talking after the others had gone on to bed?

She slipped seamlessly into the seat next to him and carefully rested her hand over his on the couch between them. At her touch, he finally turned to look at her. She could feel the loneliness of the last few months pouring off him, an emotion not so entirely different from what the rest of them had felt. They had lost their center and they didn't know that anything would ever be the same. Deanna squeezed his hand and smiled faintly, trying to show her support, and he returned the gesture, even if it was half hearted. They didn't say a word, just sat in the silence together. The captain sighed as he leaned back against the couch cushions and Deanna found a comfortable place beside him, to wait out whatever it was. If he needed to talk, she would be there to listen. But if talking it out was not required, she was just as prepared to simply offer companionship, hoping the lonely feeling would pass.

….

Will Riker awoke early, despite the late hour he had gone to bed. Perhaps it was his Starfleet training. Perhaps he had finally grown accustomed to the short amounts of sleep he had been allowed over the last several months. He walked through the rest of the home, but found its inhabitants quietly slumbering.

"No problem," he whispered to himself as he descended the stairs. He was a little surprised to see that the house was as spotless as he would have expected the Picard home to be. There was no sign of the revelry from the night before. Even the kitchen was clean and quietly deserted. "Okay…" he said looking around him. The least he could do was cook his friends some breakfast. He was rummaging through a rack of pans when the door to the garden opened.

"Well, bless my soul. Didn't anyone tell you that you were on vacation?" Marie Picard asked as she stepped inside.

.

"I thought I would make some breakfast for everyone."

"I see that," she said with a grin. "Mind if I help?"

"Please," Will agreed.

Marie went to work, pulling ingredients from their shelves. "My brother in law is not much of a breakfast eater," she told him without pausing. "But it's one of my favorite things to make."

"Mine too," Will told her pleasantly. "When do you think he'll be up?"

"Jean-Luc? He and your doctor friend were up walking the grounds an hour ago. Last I saw, they were headed off that direction," Marie made a sweeping motion out the window.

Will chuckled quietly to himself, thinking back to the night before. That would have been in the same direction of the hay wagon where he and Deanna had enjoyed a fair amount of the evening. Somehow he couldn't quite picture the captain and doctor using it for the same purposes, and especially not in daylight.

….

"It's so peaceful here," Beverly sighed as she strolled along the stream. "I see why you aren't spending your time hovering around San Francisco."

"I'll try to be by a bit more," Jean-Luc resolved.

The two paused and smiled, understanding his promise for what it was.

"Well, I wish I could stay longer than just this afternoon," Beverly said, starting off down the path again.

"You are welcome here anytime, Beverly. I hope you know that."

She nodded slightly. "I just wish I could stay one more night."

"Then stay." There was a pleading in his voice she hadn't expected, hadn't prepared for and it almost frightened her. "Stay here with me," he told her. Jean-Luc knew his error the moment the words left his mouth. "Deanna will be staying several more days before heading back to San Francisco. I'm sure she would love to have the time with you," he tried desperately to erase what he had done.

Beverly looked so torn. She leaned toward him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I really should get back to my lab, Jean-Luc, but don't think I don't take the offer seriously. You may even regret it when an angry physician, sick to death of bureaucracy shows up fuming on your doorstep." The two of them chuckled away their awkward moment.

"I'll look forward to it," he finally said quietly, never breaking his stride.

…

The smells of food drew them down the stairs one at a time. "Coffee," Geordi murmured as he shuffled. "Need coffee."

"The sensation you are experiencing is likely from a dramatic rise and fall in blood alcohol level. A small glass of wine may do more to alleviate your symptoms," Data offered, following behind.

"No," Geordi moaned. "No wine. No offence," he said as he took the steaming mug of coffee from Marie Picard's outstretched hand.

"None taken. My husband always used to tell Jean-Luc to be careful. You all are not used to the real thing," she scolded them.

"Mmm," Geordi moaned in agreement as he sat down at the small table in the corner and rubbed at his head.

"Good Morning," Beverly practically sang as she swung the door from the garden open and came into the kitchen, growing crowded with food and people.

"Well, aren't you chipper this morning," Will greeted her as he flipped some food in a pan.

"It's a beautiful morning," the captain offered coming in after her.

Beverly smelled at the food filling plates along the counter. " Mmmhhh," she sighed. "It smells wonderful."

"And we brought fresh croissants back from town." Jean-Luc placed a bag on the counter.

"Well, you two have been busy this morning," Marie teased.

"Good morning," Deanna called sleepily from the archway to the dining room. She was wearing pajamas and her hair was piled loosely in a ponytail on top of her head. She seemed to still be partially asleep as she gazed around the kitchen at the group of them.

"Good Morning, Beautiful," Will called to her.

Deanna shuffled slowly towards the food and Will quickly pulled her close and kissed her lightly, unashamed.

The rest of the group exchanged curious glances while Will handed her the hot chocolate he had prepared, either oblivious to their curiosity or simply choosing to ignore it.

Deanna took one look at the outstretched mug and sighed. "I love you," she told him smiling gratefully.

"I know," he replied casually and returned to preparing the food.

Beverly arched an eyebrow at Deanna as she made herself comfortable in the chair next to hers, but Deanna only smiled innocently and sipped at her drink.

The group chatted while they ate, praising their chefs gratefully. But as the morning drew on, the relaxed atmosphere began to wind down. Geordi was due back at Utopia Plenitia the next morning and Data had a meeting that evening in Oxford. Beverly and Will were headed back to San Francisco that night, off to make their own appointments.

….

Will sighed as he pulled Deanna closer to him on the far end of the porch. They could see the others gathering near the front door, but Will wasn't ready to join them, or to let go of his companion.

"Don't go," she whispered into his chest, a quiet plea.

"And what do you suggest I tell Admiral DeYek?" he asked her, never expecting an answer. "Come with me," Will answered, whispering against her hair as he held her tucked against him. "I'm here for a couple more days."

"You know I can't. Will, the captain needs me right now."

He tried not to roll his eyes in frustration. They had already had this conversation the night before. Just this once, with no ship to interfere, why was it that the captain's needs still came before his?

"And my father's family…" Deanna tried again. "The party is tomorrow and I'm supposed to be baking all afternoon, Greek breads…" Deanna left the thought unfinished, dangling between them.

For a moment, the two stood in silence, listening to the others gathering nearby. Finally Will sighed again and kissed her head. "I know. It's okay."

Deanna hugged him even tighter, as if she could hold him there with her. She could feel the tears stinging at her eyes. When she had concocted this plan, she had never imagined how much it would hurt when he left.

"Besides, I've got Beverly to keep me company."

Deanna looked up at him her expression suddenly harsh.

"Not like that," he said nudging her gently. "I just meant we made plans to meet for dinner tonight."

"How nice," Deanna muttered looking at her feet. She didn't mean to be acting this way. She knew better.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Who are you having dinner with?" he asked her sharply.

"That's not the same. They aren't the same thing at all." Deanna protested.

"I beg to differ with you." Will tried to soften his tone. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with her about this. He understood why she was doing what she was doing. He didn't have to like it, but he respected it. It caught him off guard when he looked down at her and saw a single tear slip down her cheek. "Hey," he whispered, gently wiping the tear away. "Don't do that. You're breaking my heart."

"I don't know when I'll get to see you again," she said quietly choking back the tears that stung her eyes.

"We'll find a way," he said with more confidence than he felt. "We always do." He was trying to make her smile and she finally gave in. He kissed her one last time before he unwrapped her from his arms and took her hand as he walked to meet the others.

Deanna managed to smile through the rest of her farewells. The group bid the captain, his sister in law and Deanna good-bye, one by one.

"Travel safely," Jean-Luc said simply as Beverly bid him farewell.

"I'll see you soon," she replied quickly before she grabbed her bag and stepped off the porch to join Data.

"I want to hear all about this family get together," Will teased Deanna lightly as he gave her a final squeeze. She nodded vaguely, but didn't answer. The others were waiting for him. "I'll write to you soon," he said quietly.

She nodded again and smiled faintly at him. She knew he didn't mean to lie to her. He meant what he said, but it wouldn't make any difference. Life and duty would get in the way. If there was a letter at all, it would be short and to the point, like all the others.

Will kissed her on the cheek lightly one last time before heading off down the path with the others.

The three remaining stood watching them disappear down the path. Deanna wrapped her arms around the pillar at the edge of the step, her eyes glued to the group disappearing into the afternoon sun.

After a few long minutes Marie let out a sigh as the group disappeared out of sight. "Well, I suppose I had better clean up," she said turning back to the house.

"Oh no. I insist I do that," Jean-Luc said joining her. "Besides, I thought you ladies had Greek baking to do."

Deanna heard them go, but made no move to follow them. Her eyes were stilled glued sadly to the path, though there was nothing left to see. Suddenly she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder and turned to see the captain standing behind her, his expression steady and full of understanding. He gave her a weak smile and nod, urging her to let it go, trying to assure her that whatever their future held, they would be okay.

Deanna nodded slowly in return and allowed the captain to lead her away from her vigil. She could hear Marie in the kitchen and knew she had a lot of work to do that day if she had any hope of impressing her grandmother the next morning. She had plenty of time to worry about the future, but her past was the immediate problem.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Wow, I finished! Yea! I know a few of you will be missing that we did not accompany Deanna to Greece. I know Tikva (who edited this whole story) was. She suggested that I write a short bonus chapter to tag along at the end (I believe she called it something like a bonus track that you get on CD's sometimes) the idea made me laugh a bit, but if you are interested, or I get enough feed back in general, I may consider it. ;) Yeah, feedback for the previous chapter from last week (5) was lacking. But thanks to those who did review. I love hearing what you're thinking. Oh, and yes. My finger is just fine now. No permanent damage, but I am a bit more aware as I cut up apples for afternoon snacks. :) Until I write again! M

**7 months later**

Will Riker took long strides down the corridors of the space dock, pulling at his dress uniform collar as he went. He was late. Very late actually, but the Columbia had only entered orbit a few minutes before. He wasn't sure he had ever changed into this uniform so quickly and something about the neck seemed to be pulling too tightly.

Maybe it was his anxiety. The last few days had been a blur of activity. For 13 months, he had felt like he had been groping for answers in the dark and then all at once in the space of two days, his life had been laid out before him.

The Columbia had been escorting a Klingon diplomat back his home world when the first message had arrived from Star Fleet Command. The Enterprise E was complete. Her maiden voyage would be less than two weeks from that day, charting a possible wormhole in sector 118, on the edge of the Romulan Neutral Zone. The mission made a chill run through Will's arms. That was the kind of mission reserved for the best and the brightest of their field, the crew of the Federation Flagship. It was exactly the kind of excitement he had been missing for the last 13 months.

Along with this minimal briefing came two other items, an invitation to the christening of the ship one week from that day in space doc on Earth, and something he found even more interesting, a crew manifest. Next to the position of first officer the name was blank. The captain, Geordi, Deanna, Data… they were all listed exactly where he had expected them to be. He saw that the captain had selected a new chief of security. He had even taken Will's recommendation. But it was another blank that caught him by surprise, the blank space next to the position of Chief Medical Officer.

Will spent every spare moment for the better part of a day going over the crew manifest, staring at names, letting his mind wander a bit until the transmission came from Star Fleet Command.

"Patch it through," Will called from his ready room, sitting up straight and straightening his uniform.

The screen before him came alive and Admiral DeYek nodded pleasantly. "Hello there, Will," he greeted him.

DeYek was a short, stout Asian man, balding, always pleasant enough. He had overseen much of Will's activities over the last year and Will had found him to be fair and direct.

"Sir. What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you had a few minutes, Commander. There are some things we need to discuss."

Will had leaned back in his chair. He knew the moment would come, knew at some point, someone would ask him to make a decision, but not until that very moment, as he listened to the admiral speaking, did he realize that he really had no idea what he intended to do.

"She's a good ship, Will. Young, but strong. Those officers need an experienced leader like you," he concluded. The Columbia was his, if he wanted her. The offer hung in the air, as Will sat silently.

He looked down at his desk and saw the crew manifest for the Enterprise E in front of him. The truth was, the Columbia _was_ a good ship. And in spite of his experiences those first few months, he had grown attached to her, and her crew. They were young, terribly inexperienced, but wasn't he once, too? Everything that the admiral had said was true. They needed a leader, and Will could be that person. If they would let the ship test her wings a bit more, he was sure he could even be happy being that person. But there was something more…the pull of excitement of the Enterprise? Or was it her crew? Was it because it was home? Even a new version of it couldn't seem to escape that title to him.

"Admiral, with all due respect, I think I'd like to know all my options before I make a decision," Will finally answered.

The admiral nodded knowingly. "You received the information about the Enterprise E then?"

Will nodded solemnly.

"Captain Picard has made it abundantly clear that he would very much like to see his former crew reunited for this new voyage. Your seat is open, if you want it. The decision is yours. Either way, when you are done on the Klingon home world, you are due back on Earth. It's going to be a hell of a party," he said with a smile.

Will felt a wave of emotion wash over him, as if he were being tugged in a hundred directions at once. "When do I need to give you my answer?"

"I can give you a week from tomorrow. I hope that gives you time to consider all the possibilities…"

There had been something in his voice. Was it a word of caution or hopefulness? Will didn't know, but he had said his goodbyes and the stewing had begun. For two days he became a hermit, hiding away as much as possible, trying to consider every option from every possible angle. And here he was a week later, almost charging down the corridor of the space doc, pulling at his collar, and all he knew for sure was that all that thinking had given him a headache.

Even as he strode to the doors of the party, he didn't know what he would tell the admiral in the morning. Forget the next morning, he didn't know what he was going to tell the captain tonight. And even worse, he would have to face Deanna. He knew she was there, just around the corner. Part of him wanted to race in, just to see her face, but the other part wanted to turn around and walk away. Maybe it would be easier that way, to leave like Worf left, a lot of pain, but no long goodbyes.

He hadn't heard from her in a month, and he knew it wasn't because she was so busy. She knew about the offer of his own command. She had known it was coming. And she had gotten the same crew manifest he had, he was sure of it, the manifest with the gaping holes in the senior staff. She was giving him space and time to make his own decisions. She wouldn't get in his way.

He hadn't seen her in seven months, since he left LaBarre. He had told her he would write to her, that he would keep in better touch. A week later, he had gotten a lengthy letter from her telling him all about her time with her father's family, how her aging grandmother had been appeased, if not quite impressed with her efforts and how after it all, there was an understanding that they were her family and when she came to earth, she should come and see them whenever possible. He had been very happy that it had gone so well for her, but things on the ship were happening so fast. The warp core was having containment issues, the engineering crew was unprepared and all Will had time for turned out to be a short note saying he was happy for her and that he would write more soon. But he hadn't really. They had fallen back into their pattern of quickly written short exchanges.

Deanna had gone back to the University on Betazed. Her life was busy, so was his. He hadn't kept the promise he made in LaBarre. And now what? What could he possibly say to make it up to her? Will groaned as he walked. How could he face her? He hoped that somehow tonight, seeing the ship and his friends would help him figure it all out.

He could hear the music from the reception as he rounded the corner, and a man standing near the windows caught his eye. Will smiled at the sight of him. "Too much for you already, eh Geordi?" he called with a laugh, but he almost gasped when his friend turned to face him. The visor Will had become so accustomed to resting across his friends face was gone and in its place there were piercing eyes watching him. They still didn't look perfectly natural, and the irises were a grayish blue. He tried to greet his friend with a smile, but he couldn't hide being taken aback.

"Hey Commander. We had just about given you up as lost." Geordi's voice was casual, but his gaze was almost unnerving. "Commander," Geordi called as if trying to snap his friend out of his slack jawed stare. "It's rude to stare."

Will closed his gaping mouth with some effort and shook his head at himself. "Geordi. My God. I'm so sorry. I… I had no idea."

Geordi smiled broadly and Will was struck by the vibrance of his facial expressions. "Don't worry about it, Sir. A bit shocking, isn't it?"

"No," Will protested, but Geordi cocked an eyebrow and smiled even more broadly. "A little bit," Will admitted, "when you're not expecting it. When did this happen?"

"About a month ago. Dr. Crusher did the surgery herself."

"With that biomechanics guy she was working with," Will nodded at the memories of their discussions moths before and Geordi agreed.

"Don't tell her, but I should have done it years ago."

"What's it like?" Will asked with sincere curiosity.

"Well, at first, everything was a blur. I was so dizzy I couldn't stand up for three days. But after some getting used to it, and some training, I can see almost as well as you. And I still have some abilities that came in handy with the visor. People's body temperatures still appear differently, and I can focus on specific objects at pretty long distances. But the eyes can't come off like the visor could. The headaches are less frequent, and I get the added bonus of not attracting so many stares, at least except from you, Sir."

"The new you might take some getting used to," Will admitted.

Geordi had turned back to the large windows and watched Earth orbiting below them. "Does that mean that you plan sticking around to get used to it?" he asked.

It was the first of many times he knew he would be asked that night and he felt his stomach flip flop. Of all the people he would face tonight, he thought Geordi might be the easiest, but it didn't feel easy at all.

Geordi understood the lack of answer for what it was. "How long before you have to give 'um an answer?"

"Tomorrow morning."

Geordi nodded knowingly. "Well, maybe getting a good look at her will help make up your mind. Come on," Geordi urged him towards the party.

"Deanna's here?" Will asked without a thought.

Geordi paused. "She is, but I was talking about the ship." He shook his head at his friend as if he were hopeless. "Come on," he called again, walking into the room.

The large promenade was filled with people mixing and talking. He followed Geordi past the small orchestra and towards the bar, when a mane of red hair caught his eye. He tugged on Geordi's arm to get his attention. "Hey, what do you know about that?" he asked nodding his head in Beverly Crusher's direction. She was deep in conversation with a man Will recognized as the head of Star Fleet Medical, though he couldn't remember the man's name to save his life.

"Dr. Crusher?" Geordi asked. "Didn't you hear? They offered her a position as the head of a special department of medical research. No one above her, anyone on her staff that she wanted…"

"She's really not coming back?" Will asked. Even though he had seen the manifest, it just didn't seem right.

But Geordi shrugged his shoulders. "They offered it to her over two months ago."

"She hasn't answered them?"

"I heard a rumor that she had until tomorrow morning," he told him, handing him a drink.

Before Will could ask another question, a woman he didn't recognize came up and stole Geordi's attention away, some detail about something and with a sigh and a quick apology, Geordi was gone.

Will was left looking around the huge room, wondering what to do next when he felt someone slip close to him. "I see you found a free moment in your schedule to join us," Beverly Crusher said cheerfully as she gave his arm a squeeze.

"Hey Doc, what'd you do to Geordi?" he countered back and they laughed while they embraced.

Beverly clung to him tighter than he would have expected. There was something about being in the same situation. Will was sure she was the only person in the room who truly understood, and who wasn't hurt by how torn he was. "Starfleet medical, huh?" he asked quietly.

"The Columbia?" She answered with a question of her own.

"What are you gonna do?"

Beverly shook her head, distractedly as she glanced around the room. "I don't know. I guess I was hoping that somehow tonight…"

"Coming here, seeing the new ship and everyone…" Will continued for her.

"It would somehow just make more sense," she concluded and Will nodded. "You, too?"

Hearing it out loud sounded oddly pathetic. Will put his arm around her and held her tight. "We are a sorry pair," he admitted and she laughed under her breath.

"Have you seen the captain?"

"Not yet. I'm not sure I'm exactly looking forward to it."

Beverly shook her head. "He understands," she told him softly. "He said he stood by whatever decision I made, that he just wants me to be happy."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Worse," Beverly admitted, as she slumped against him.

"Uh huh."

The two of them stood together amidst the crowd for a while longer before Beverly straightened up with a sigh. "No use postponing the inevitable," she said taking his hand. "They're this way." She led him off through the crowd until they found who they were looking for.

Captain Picard, Deanna Troi, Data and Geordi were all chatting with an admiral near the edge of the crowd.

"There you are Commander," Geordi greeted him. "I lost you for a minute there."

"Don't worry, I found him," Beverly said casually pushing Will forward.

"Admiral, have you met Commander Riker? Sir, this is Admiral Ramsey, from Utopia Plenitia. He oversaw the construction of the Enterprise E", Geordi made the introductions.

"Admiral," Will greeted him, extending his hand.

"Will Riker, of course, of the Columbia. I've read so many of your engine reports, I feel like I know you." The admiral shook his hand warmly, but Will's attention was drawn to the woman just over his shoulder, and the way Deanna's eyes fell when she heard the admiral refer to him by his station on the Columbia. "I'd almost forgotten that you were the first officer of the Enterprise… D, that is."

Every word he said made Deanna shrink away a little bit more. He had to do something. "Yes, well, it's my understanding that the position of first officer is still available, if I were interested."

The captain smiled. "Indeed," he offered supportively.

"In that case, Geordi thought seeing the ship might do me some good,"

"I think that sounds like a marvelous idea, Commander," the captain told them. "Doctor, will you join us?" he asked.

Beverly nodded and the group set out following the admiral and Geordi as they led them towards the far edge of the room, past the partitions that separated the room, into a far more quiet area, poorly lit for the moment. In another hour, this area would be full of onlookers, but for now, it was relatively secluded. The wall before them was entirely clear and the light that filled the space was coming from beyond the windows, the light that illuminated a vast structure just on the other side. It was beautiful. Like a gleaming new toy. The Enterprise E was almost dwarfing the space doc. It was as if a sort of reverence had fallen over the group.

"She's huge," Will almost whispered.

"Pretty, isn't she?" Geordi answered.

"Why is it that ships are referred to in the feminine?" Beverly asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

The captain stepped up to her and smiled. "Tradition," he offered.

Will had momentarily lost track of Deanna in the dim light when suddenly she seemed to magically appear at his elbow. "Well, in that case, _she's_ breathtaking," she said proudly.

"I agree," Will added, his eyes never leaving the woman next to him. She looked absolutely beautiful. She was the only woman he knew who could make a dress uniform look sexy as it hugged her curves. Her hair was a little different. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but he was pretty sure he liked it, and her lips…her lips were so perfect. Something about their perfect shape made him just want to touch them.

Deanna reached out and squeezed his hand quickly before releasing it. It was her simple way of saying hello, that she missed him. More than that, he realized, that she supported him. The one gesture made most of his anxiety just melt away. He was okay. He was among friends. It didn't matter what he decided, that wouldn't change.

The admiral launched into a run down of the ship's specifications, and the group listened attentively. At least Will hoped he looked attentive. He was finding himself growing more and more distracted by the woman standing next to him. All he could think about was that night in LaBarre, laying in hay, kissing her, holding her and laughing with her under the stars. He hadn't had that much fun kissing in a very long time. The more he thought about it, the more preoccupied with kissing her he became, but that didn't seem very likely surrounded as they were at the moment.

He saw Deanna shake her head a bit, a shy smile on her face and he realized she was blushing, a blush that certainly had nothing to do with the warp power couplings that the admiral was currently describing.

_Woops,_ Will thought, being caught red handed in his daydreams. Deanna almost laughed out loud at his reaction. He tried harder to concentrate. The ship really was magnificent, as much a work of modern sculpture as it was functional.

"The on board tour will be tomorrow, of course, but I think you'll be pleased…. I think you'll be pleased," the admiral almost sang with excitement.

Will wondered where Deanna's quarters would be and for a moment he realized he couldn't imagine her on this ship without him. Her life going on in his absence. It made him feel hollow inside.

Just as before, he felt Deanna's hand slip into his without a word, and this time she held on for a moment longer.

_Imzadi_

He turned to her, without even thinking. He was sure he had heard it, even before he saw her face, the look of deep concern and love that awaited him. Those eyes of hers…he could drown in those eyes if he let himself. In fact, as long as he could look at her, he wasn't sure that he cared where he served. But Deanna shook her head solemnly at him.

Had she picked up on that thought at well? She let go of his hand and took a resolute step away from him. She wouldn't make the decision for him. She didn't want that kind of burden on them. Cold he read her subtle body language so easily or was he reading her as she was apparently reading him? He didn't know. But he knew a way to find out.

Will kept an eye on her as the group wandered from one end of the large room to the other, getting glimpses of different areas of the ship as they went. But Will's mind was wandering to far more recreational activities. Times they had spent together on the Enterprise D flowed freely through his mind, kissing her in the holodeck, walks in the Arboretum, laughing together over chocolate in Ten Forward… Deanna was trying to give the admiral her attention, but she would occasionally glance over to find Will concentrating on her, and she would smile at their shared memory. Then his mind wandered to their night together in LaBarre, tucked amongst the vines, kissing one another like they may never see one another again.

He saw Deanna close her eyes for a moment and he was afraid he had almost made her cry. Instead of wandering that road, he decided to take a detour, one completely of his own imagination. He imagined what the quarters would be like on this new ship, what it would be like to be there with Deanna, kissing her, leading her into his bed.

That caught her attention. Deanna turned to him and scowled. She didn't think he was playing fair. Fine. He went back to walks in the arboretum and she almost laughed again at his mental teasing.

The tour lasted for almost half an hour, before the admiral began leading them on to see some other great thing they just needed to set eyes on. Data and the captain were right behind him. Beverly seemed slightly less enthused and Geordi seemed almost bored. Though, it occurred to Will, that none of this was news to him. He'd spent the last seven months crawling around inside this ship. He probably knew the Enterprise E better than anyone in the galaxy.

Will and Deanna dragged their feet more than the rest and just as Will hoped, as Geordi stepped beyond the room partitions, they finally found themselves relatively alone.

"What is it you think you're doing Commander?" she scowled as she approached him.

He tried his best to look innocent. "I'm just standing here minding my own business. Being a bit nosey, perhaps?"

Deanna's jaw dropped at his mocking attack. "You're so easy to read that I'm embarrassed to walk back out there, for fear that there may be other telepaths in the room."

Will couldn't help himself. He took her by the wrist and tugged her to him, hiding her in the shadow of the tall partitions, and kissed her, gently at first. He half expected her to slap him. It wouldn't have entirely surprised him. What did surprise him was how easily she fell against him, her hands wrapping around his neck and her mouth moving over his as if she had been waiting all night for him to do just that.

For someone who wasn't willing to make decisions for him, she wasn't letting go without a fight either. If he was wondering about how she felt when he arrived, he wasn't wondering anymore. She nibbled on his earlobe and Will tried not to moan. What was that he heard? "Dea," he whispered in the semi darkness. He ran his hands down her sides to rest on her hips and she almost whimpered in his ear. Maybe it was nothing. He captured her lips again and let the taste of her mouth distract him.

No, that was a noise. Voices?

This time Deanna heard them too, and she recognized them. She practically leapt away from him, trying hard to control her rapid breathing and pushing her hair back over her shoulders, just as the admiral led the group of Enterprise officers back the way they had come a few minutes earlier. Will wiped at his cheek where he could feel a smudge of Deanna's lipstick against his skin.

"Commander, there you are. I thought we'd lost you."

"We…ah…Counselor Troi and I were just…," Will gestured out the large windows at the ship and tried desperately to think of a ship's system, "…admiring the isolitic converters."

He heard Beverly stifle a chuckle and Geordi clear his throat. But the admiral seemed oblivious. "Yes, this is the first time those will be in regular use. They are projected to increase engine efficiency by 28%. They are amazing."

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Beverly whispered to Deanna as she slipped past her. Deanna elbowed her friend with a glare. She couldn't hide the blush in her cheeks, nor could she seem to look any of them in the eye.

"Mr. Data, here are the couplings I was describing," the admiral continued. "Commander, I'm afraid you missed the demonstration piece of the new power coupling design, but Mr. Data had some marvelous questions about how they were integrated into the ship's hard systems…"

Will nodded vaguely and made a mental note to kick Data at the first opportunity.

Captain Picard stepped up to his first officer with a slight roll of the eyes and shake of the head, but Will noticed he was either smiling or laughing at him, one of the two. With a raise of his eyebrow, the captain made a slight motion to the side of Will's neck.

"You have a little something on your…" he motioned again trying to keep their conversation quiet as the admiral continued on with his tour.

Will's eyes shot open wide and he furiously wiped at the remains of lipstick on his neck and collar.

Beverly chuckled softly and Deanna winced again as her cheeks burnt.

Finally the admiral turned back to the group. "Well, I hate to leave you, but I have some greetings I need to make. I'll leave you alone for a moment. She will be yours soon enough. With a nod, the admiral headed off, back to the party and left the group alone.

Geordi's new sharp eyes were on Will. "What?" he asked with a shrug.

Geordi let out a deep laugh. "I'll give you two hundred credits if you can point to the isolitic converters."

The group broke out in laughter, except for Will and Deanna. "They're…" Will looked a bit helplessly along the aft of the ship, "there someplace," he admitted vaguely motioning to the ship as a whole. This time when the group erupted in laughter, even Deanna joined them.

"Isolitic Converters? Where did that even come from? The warp nasel too obvious for you?" she asked.

"Why would we be admiring the warp nasel?" He asked genuinely puzzled.

Deanna took a swipe at him, but he caught her hand and held it tight. He'd already been caught. He might as well get to hold her hand.

"The ceremony will be starting soon," Data urged them.

Will took one more long look at the ship before he turned and escorted Deanna back into the party, the rest of the group in tow.

….

Beverly lingered, watching Jean-Luc stare at his new ship. There was a purpose again in his step, and she liked what she saw. "Uh oh, Captain. What are you going to do with the two of them?" she asked, motioning to where Will and Deanna had disappeared.

Jean-Luc turned from the windows with a bit of a sigh. "Ignore it, to the very best of my ability."

"Jean-Luc, can't you even be happy for them for one minute?"

"Should I be?" he asked, suddenly very serious. "What they do with their lives…"

he began, but Beverly sighed and threw her hands up at his pessimistic attitude.

"Doesn't it make you a little bit happy to see your friends in love?"

"Is that what they are?"

"When did the romantic in you die, Jean-Luc Picard?" she asked firmly. But she saw the answer flash in his eyes and the idea that she had killed some part of him brought a harsh silence between them.

"I wish them nothing but happiness. But there are practical things to consider. I don't want to see her get hurt."

"You don't think Will's coming back then?"

"The Columbia is a good ship. They need good officers, like Will..." Jean-Luc looked back out the windows at this new Enterprise and felt a small pang of loneliness still. He felt Beverly's hand rest on his shoulder and that same fear he had for his ship's counselor's heart made him stiffen at her touch.

Beverly immediately drew her hand away and turned to go. She didn't know what she had been hoping for.

"Wait, Doctor. Beverly," he called after her.

Beverly stopped, but she didn't turn to face him.

"Do you ever wonder how they do it? They hug each other and just go on like it's nothing. They get caught by their friends kissing in the corner like teenagers and they just laugh it off like it's nothing. Don't you ever wonder how they do that?"

Jean-Luc stood in stunned silence. "No."

"I do," she almost whispered. She felt the tears of anger and frustration, of years of being pulled close and pushed away, building in her throat. This is when it was easier, to just leave, to find her passion in medicine, to not expect anything from anyone except for professionally.

"I'm sorry, Beverly," he whispered. She almost jumped at the sound of his voice so close to her ear. "I don't know what else to say."

"Sometimes words can't fix everything."

She saw him nod his head slowly. "These last few months… I was lost. I never once thought about what you needed. I only thought about myself, what I needed from you."

He shook his head in the darkness again. "Forgive me, please?"

Beverly pinched her eyes against the tears.

"What is it you need, Beverly? I'll give you whatever I can."

"I want what they have," she said looking out into the party where their friends had vanished. "I want to be able to touch you and know it will be okay, that we'll be okay. Sometimes I feel so alone."

Jean-Luc silently reached for her hand, and held it tight. His other hand ran along her hair. He could feel himself trembling. He could face a whole armada, but this one woman made him tremble in fear.

"For the record, in case you didn't know, I want you on this ship."

"Jean-Luc," she said shaking her head. "Just…" Beverly didn't know what she was thinking. She leaned into the touch of his hand and it made her feel somehow like a piece of herself that had been missing for a long time was there again. She stood there watching this man that had been so interwoven into her life for so long that the idea of going on without him seemed one-dimensional.

"Beverly," it was a quiet plea, but she wasn't sure for what. Her permission? Her forgiveness?

When his lips touched hers it was with the kind of reverence that frightened her. She didn't want to be that perfect, that fragile. She needed him to see her for who she was. She needed him to accept her and her feelings the way they were.

She pushed herself into him and let her mouth suck on his bottom lip until he let out the smallest hint of a moan, a small lapse in his perfect self control. It almost shocked her, the effect she could have on him so easily. It made her almost giddy with power. She pulled away to watch him, to see if they could truly be okay, or if that one action would send their fragile world crashing down around them.

He stood before her, his eyes closed, panting for air, somehow looking vulnerable, and suddenly she realized, they would never be Will and Deanna. They would never be so casual, but it didn't mean any less. The loss of control was so easy that it frightened both of them a bit. They could take things as they were, for themselves, and that was okay. She didn't need more.

She buried her head in his shoulder and hugged him, maybe tighter than she ever had before. "I'm sorry," she whispered and she knew it was okay when his arms slipped around her and held her close to him.

"I'm…" he began, but couldn't finish his sentence. "It's not for lack of wanting," he finally concluded.

"I know. I didn't mean to… I just…" Beverly fumbled as she pulled away from him.

"There must be a happy medium somewhere for us," he concluded. His self-control had returned and it let him be comfortable around her again. She had never meant to take that from him.

She smiled softly. "I know we can find it," she said taking his hand and holding it tightly in the shadows where they stood.

Jean-Luc saw the party moving in a large group, like herded animals, towards where the command ceremony would be held shortly. "Shall we?" he asked offering her his arm.

Beverly smiled happily at him. They were all right. They could survive it, just like she had needed to know.

….

Will Riker watched the captain and doctor approaching, seeming to be almost huddled together. He gave Deanna a small nudge and a look in their direction. She watched for a moment, then turned back to Will and gave a small shrug.

The group was gathered on the steps near the podium where Captain Picard would officially take command of the Enterprise E, and the rest of them made room for their captain to make his way to the ceremony.

"Sir," Will stopped him discreetly as he passed. Will tried to hide his surprise and his mirth as he motioned slightly to the corner of his own lip and gave a quick point and a nod to the captain. The captain's eyes went wide as he covered the corner of his mouth wiping at the distinct lipstick smudge on the edge of his lip.

Will tried not to grin. He really did. But it was no use.

"Don't say a word," Captain Picard warned him. "Not one…"

Will gestured surrender. "I wouldn't dream of it, Sir."

With that, the captain turned to continue towards the podium, but Will leaned closer and whispered to the captain. "I guess I get a free pass on that one then?"

The captain was too far away to respond discreetly, so instead he gave his first officer a warning glare before continuing on his way.

The entire party silently watched the command ceremony, none more closely than the crew of the Enterprise D. Will couldn't help but glance around at them all. Beverly stood as far from the captain as possible. Will could have sworn there were tears in her eyes, and an almost sad smile on her face. Was that what it was? A kiss goodbye?

Geordi and Data stood together, Geordi's eyes made his facial expressions more vibrant than Will had remembered them, and Data had been laughing earlier. Laughing! Nothing was the same. He looked back at Deanna and saw she was emotional as well. She was watching an empty space on the stairs between Geordi and herself, and Will realized Worf should have been there. Worf, his stoic friend. He'd left to give them a chance. What would Will do with it? Walk away, again? If he did, he had better hope the Columbia never made it all the way out to DS9. There was a part of Will that hated that Deanna was upset by his absence, but there was a part of him that was sad as well. It wouldn't be the same without him. None of it was going to be the same.

….

With the command ceremony over, the throng of people made their way through the partitions to view the magnificent Enterprise E and the captain released a bottle of champagne into space, then joined the others to watch it spin slowly, silently through space and finally crash against the bow of the ship. A cheer rose from all around them, but the core of the group seemed more subdued.

"Seems almost wasteful," Deanna commented.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'll have a much better vintage we can toast to together once we leave spacedock," the captain told them.

"Uh," Geordi moaned. "I don't know. The last time I had any of that, I had a headache for three days."

"I recall that I suggested that you ingest a small amount of wine the next morning. Caffeine has a dehydrating effect."

"Thanks Data," Geordi moaned.

"No one told you to drink a whole bottle yourself," Deanna admonished him.

"No one stopped me either."

"Well I was thinking more of a bottle for all of us, so you ought to be safe, Commander," the captain said with a chuckle.

Will listened to the group, making plans for their adventure together, and he fell back. He still didn't know if he was a part of it or not, and it made him feel as if he was intruding in some way. He looked around as the partygoers moved back into the main hall all around him. Beverly had also disappeared.

….

It took a while of searching, but he eventually spotted her, up above the group in a balcony area, all alone. The stairs were wide but steep and it seemed most around them were not willing to exert the effort.

"Hiding from somebody?" he asked from a few feet behind her.

It didn't matter. The sound still seemed to startle her.

"Not me, I hope," he tried again.

Beverly didn't turn to look at him, she just shook her head.

Will stepped up next to her and looked out at the sea of people below them. It was easy enough to spot what had captured her attention. Just a ways off stood the captain, Deanna, Geordi and Data in a tight circle, making their plans.

"Interesting view," he commented again. Still she didn't answer. "It's almost midnight."

Finally Beverly turned and leaned back against the banister. "What happens at midnight? I turn back into a pumpkin?"

Will gave a shrug. "I don't know about what happens to you, but I know I am supposed to make a pretty big decision tomorrow morning and tomorrow morning is rapidly approaching."

"I thought being here tonight would make it all make sense," she mumbled. She seemed terribly confused. Will had to admit, he could relate to the feeling. He hoped that seeing the ship or his friends would give him some lightning bolt of thought and he would just know. But so far, he only felt torn.

"When we were in LaBarre, Deanna asked me what I wanted, what I truly wanted."

"And you still don't know?"

Will took another look down at the group. "Maybe I do. Maybe the answer frightens me."

"Both answers frighten me," Beverly admitted with a sigh.

Almost as if she could hear their conversation, Deanna Troi slowly looked up, until she found her friends in their perch above her. Her eyes met Will's. Those eyes… and in that moment he knew. He knew he had known before, but that he had been too scared to let the thought out. He wasn't going anywhere unless Deanna Troi was with him. It was that simple. He didn't want to be away from her. And until he could convince her to come with him, the Enterprise was his home, whatever letter it happened to be.

Deanna slowly raised her hand and gave him a small wave, and a smile and for the first time in weeks, his smile came easily. The burden was gone and he knew he was right. He waved back and watched as the captain looked up to see what was going on. His eyes went quickly from Will to the doctor to his left, and for a moment, time froze. After a moment, the captain gave a small nod and looked away and Will was left to study Beverly Crusher's face. There was something in the emotion there that he recognized.

"Come on," he finally called to her.

Beverly pulled herself from her thoughts to look over at him, a bit puzzled.

"I think it's time we joined the others, don't you?"

Beverly lowered her eyes and shook her head. "I need to think."

"About what?'

Beverly looked up at him as if he had gone insane. "What do you mean 'about what'?"

Will turned to her more seriously. "More thinking won't make the fear go away, Doc."

"What are you talking about?"

"You already know, just like me. You're going back, and you're doing it for the same reason I am."

"Oh? And what's that?" Beverly asked defensively. She didn't know if he was making her angry or fearful. Something about what he was saying made her uneasy.

Will took her gently by the arm and turned her around again, so she was looking down on their group of friends, their family. He put an arm around her, kindly as if it would somehow soften the blow. "Unfinished business," he told her quietly. Without another word Will turned and walked off towards the stairs, then glanced back at a very confused looking chief medical officer. "Are you coming?" he asked, reaching out for her to join him.

"I don't even know what that means," she almost mumbled, but she came to join him, nonetheless.

"It means, one way or another, there's still stuff to work out and until it works itself out…"

"We go home, and keep working at it."

Will smiled broadly as he nodded.

"Unfinished business, huh?"

"That's what I intend to tell Admiral DeYek in the morning."

Beverly wrapped her arm through Will's as he led her down the stairs. "But do we tell them?" she asked awkwardly.

"They're smart. They'll figure it out."

"When did you?" she asked, honestly puzzled.

Will let out a long sigh. "About ten years ago. She walked onto the bridge of the Enterprise D and I saw her for the first time. For the first time in what felt like a lifetime those eyes were looking at me. I didn't know what to do, and I suddenly wanted to kiss her or throw something at her all at the same time. But shortly after deciding against the later… right about then."

"And all this, tonight?"

"I'm a little slow at figuring things out sometimes."

Beverly stopped and pulled her arm away. "Will Riker, are you being serious?"

Will turned back and thought for a minute. "Incredibly."

Beverly smiled mischievously. "And I can't tell her?" she cried.

"And spoil the chase?" he called before taking her hand and escorting her to their waiting family. "Come on. We're missing all the fun."

**The End**


End file.
